Total Drama Ultimate
by Kallin Presley
Summary: 104 cartoon characters compete in every challenge of the series for one million dollars!
1. Not So Happy Campers- Part 1

(The camera opens up on picturesque Muskoka, Ontario. The birds are calling, the wind is gently blowing, and the rare, freshwater sharks are circling the waters. But we'll get to that later. The camera instead focuses on a rickety, old dock jutting out of the water. Suddenly, a man pops up from off screen.)

Chris: Yo, we're coming at you live from Camp Wawanawkwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. I'm your host Chris McLean, dropping season 1 of the hottest new reality show of all time. (The camera switches to show a campgrounds to the back of Chris; it is just as dilapidated as the dock.) Here's the deal: a whopping 104 contestants, the world record holder, I might add, have signed up to spend their whole summer competing in this show. They will battle it out in five, distinct areas; this is area one, Camp Wawanawkwa. The competitors will be divided up into teams, and forced to compete in challenges against each other. The winners may receive a reward, while the losers will have to vote one of their own off the island. This will continue, until only one camper is left, who will then be crowned the winner, and receive one million dollars! Who will do it? And who will bit the big one? Find out right here, right now on Total... Drama... Ultimate!

_Cue theme song._

(The camera opens back on Chris on the dock.)

Chris: All right, our first few contestants will be arriving any minute now. Oh, and if they seem a little ticked off, that's because they were told they'd be staying at five star resorts all summer. (A pause followed.) They should be here any minute now. (Another pause.) Any... minute now. (Chris takes out his phone, and calls someone.) Hey, where are the first contestants? What do you mean they aren't coming by boat?

(Suddenly, a portal opens up in mid-air; Chris stares in shock. A pink lion jumps out of the portal, with two teenagers on it: Steven and Connie.)

Steven: Whelp, it looks like we're here.

(They jump off the lion, and look at a still-shocked Chris.)

Connie: Um, hello, sir?

Chris: (shakes himself 'til he is back to his regular cool) ...And this is Steven and Connie! (leans in to Steven) Dude, when I agreed you could bring pets, I didn't know you meant a lion!

Steven: What, Lion? He's perfectly tame.

Chris: (looks to lion) Well, then, hello there big guy. (scratches Lion's head, only to receive a snap of the jaws) Yeah, perfectly tame. (looks around) Hey, wasn't there more people in your group?

Steven: Well, it depends on how you define 'people'.

(Four figures jumped out of the still open portal. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Bismuth landed on the dock in dramatic poses.)

Bismuth: We are the Crystal Gems!

Peridot: Well, that was dramatic. (She, Lapis, and Greg walked out of the portal, followed by it vanishing.)

(The Gems then broke out of their pose, and looked awkwardly around them.)

Pearl: (to Chris): Oh, hello. We're here for the... um, competition.

Amethyst: Uh, is this were we're staying?

Chris: Yep, sorry. Now, if you would all stand on the other end of this dock, we have a lot of people to meet today.

Pearl: (to Garnet, as the group walks over) I can't believe Steven talked us into this thing.

(A few seconds later, a nice looking boat pulled up to the dock, and another group of people arrived.)

Chris: Everyone, please welcome Dipper, Mabel, Grunkle Stan, Soos, and Wendy!

Soos: (runs up, and vigorously shakes Chris' hand) Whoa, you're Chris McLean! I watch a lot of Canadian media, so you're like my hero.

Dipper: Soos, last week you said a cartoon superhero was your hero, and weren't we supposed to be staying in a five star resort?

Grunkle Stan: Yeah, I was hoping to take a trip to the spa to cure my horrible back! (He turns around, and reveals his back, which has fungus growing on it. Everyone reacts with shock and disgust.)

Wendy: Oh, gross, put it away, old man.

Grunkle Stan: Fine, you cowards.

Mabel: I don't know, I like it, guys. I've never been to summer camp before. (The group walks to the other end of the dock, with Mabel walking up to Steven and Connie.) Hi, I'm Mabel, how you guys doing?

Wendy: (looking to the Crystal Gems): Who are you guys supposed to be?

Amethyst: We're the Crystal Gems. We're from another planet and stuff.

Stan: Another planet? (to Dipper) You got something on them in your book doohickey?

Dipper: (already looking in his journal) I don't think so.

(At the docking portion of the dock, a blade suddenly appeared in mid air. Everyone stared transfixed as the blade cut through the air, making a swirling portal. Out stepped Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz.)

Chris: This is Star and Marco, everyone!

Star: Wow, I can't believe we're on real Earth TV, Marco!

Steven: How did you guys make that portal? I thought only Gems could do that.

Star: I don't know what a Gem is, but I can make portals because I'm a magical princess from another dimension. (She creates a rainbow with her wand, which quickly catches fire. Star brushes it away.)

Marco: And I'm her best friend, who's good at Karate, and, um... moral support, I guess.

(The duo walks over to the larger group, where Peridot snatches Star's wand and dimensional scissors.)

Peridot: Seriously, what are these devices? I've never even designs like this before.

Pearl: (taking the devices away) Whatever they are, they don't belong in the hands of a simple human.

Star: (takes her belongings back) Hey, I'm no human. (points to her hearts) I'm a Mewman, see?

Chris: (as the next boat pulls up) All right, campers, settle down.

(The next boat first deposits Lincoln Loud onto the dock.)

Chris: Everyone, please welcome, Lincoln Loud!

(Suddenly, voices occur on the boat.)

Lola: You stole my favorite lip gloss!

Lori: And I told you that I didn't even see it!

(A huge dirt cloud of fighting appears on the boat, eventually moving to the dock.)

Lincoln: Guys, stop! We're on national TV, remember!

(His sisters immediately pause in their fighting, then line up and smile innocently.)

Chris: OK, now that that's happened, this is Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, and Lisa, also known as the Loud sisters.

Star: (to Marco) I didn't even know families could get that big. (Marco rolls his eyes in reply.)

Leni: Cool, I can't believe we're on TV... wherever here is. (Lori face palms.)

Lola: Hey, I thought we would be staying at a five-star hotel. This is just a grody camp. What gives?

Luan: (makes a joke about the dismal appearance of the camp, causing her siblings to groan)

(The Loud Siblings move to the other end of the dock, as the next contestants arrive... only this time not by boat or portal.)

Lana: Where is the next contestants?

Mabel: Look, up in the sky!

(In the sky, Lady Rainicorn was flying through the air. She descended from the sky, and landed on the dock, depositing Finn, Jake, Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, the Ice King, and Lumpy Space Princess onto the dock.)

Bubblegum: Thanks, Lady! (Jake gives Lady a kiss before she flies off.)

(The rest of the contestants gives shocked looks at the odd assortment.)

Lisa: (rubs her eyes) Am I hallucinating, now?

Chris: These are our representatives from the Land of Ooo, Finn, Jake, Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, the Ice King, and Lumpy Space Princess!

LSP: (looks around at the camp, before pulling out her phone) Hey, Melissa, this camp we're staying at is super gross, and the rest of the contestants look like idiots.

Finn: All right, Jake, it looks like we're in for another adventure! (fist bumps Jake)

Jake: Yeah, man!

(The Ice King walks up Greg.)

Greg: So, what kind of a name is the Ice King?

IK: Well, it's because I'm King of Ice! Watch this. (He swirls his hands around, making storm clouds. Eventually, it starts snowing. The Ice King expects high praise, only to realize that everyone is distracted by Finn and Jake doing sword tricks and shape-shifting respectfully. IK groans.)

(The snow soon clears up to reveal a new boat arriving. Out steps an even stranger group of contestants: Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, Pops, Skips, Muscle Man, and High-Five Ghost.)

Muscle Man: Woo, finally I'm on live TV, where I belong. (high-fives HFG)

Pops: I concur. This show will be an exciting adventure.

Mordecai: Yeah, an exciting adventure... that we're going to win. (He and Rigby begins to yell "Ooooh!" into the air, until laughter interrupts them.)

Benson: Yeah, like you two slackers are going to win this thing.

Rigby: Hey, Benson, why don't you just mind your own business during this summer, you hear.

Benson: Gladly.

(The next boat pulls up, depositing Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, and Vanessa.)

Phineas: (walking up to Chris with Ferb) Wow, thank you, sir, for letting us into your competition, and for letting us bring our pet platypus, Perry. (Perry chitters in response.)

Chris: Isn't there any normal pets in this competition?

Candace: Yeah, and thank you guys for inviting me to this thing. Now, when you build one of your contraptions on live TV, everyone will know about it... including Mom. You'll be so busted!

Buford: (walking up to Chris while carrying Baljeet like a duffel bag) Where can I put my nerd?

(Before Chris can answer, evil laughter pierces through the air.)

Dr. Doof: Ha-ha-ha, prepare yourselves for the most evilest person you have ever faced in your life. I, Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, will win this competition using only my pure, unadulterated villainy! (begins laughing again, only to be interrupted)

Vanessa: Ugh, Dad, don't be such a weirdo! (begins walking to the other end of the dock)

Dr. Doof: Wait, Vanessa, come back.

Chris: (points to an upcoming boat) All right, campers, our next contestants are-

Lynn: Ugh, how many people do we have to meet?

Bubblegum: Yes, and I don't think this dock has the stability to hold a hundred and four. (As if to prove her point, the dock gives an ominous creaking sound.)

Chris: (clearly trying not to laugh) Oh, I don't know, it looks pretty stable to me. (Bubblegum raises an eyebrow at him.)

(The next boat pulls up, revealing three, yellow-skinned humans: Homer, Bart, and Lisa.)

Lisa: (looks at the camp, and tries to smile) Oh, wow, this place looks... um, great?

Bart: This place is a dump, man.

Lisa: (elbows Bart) Bart, that's our host, he can make our lives miserable if he wants.

Chris: (muttering) Oh, don't worry about that.

Lisa: What was that?

Chris: Nothing.

Homer: I don't care where we're staying, just so long as it has good, wholesome, deep fried, smothered in chocolate food.

(The next boat pulls up, revealing Fry, Leela, and Bender.)

Fry: Wow, it feels great to be in the past again. What do you guys think?

Leela: It looks a lot less stupid than it tells you in museums.

(Meanwhile, Bender walks over to the other end of the dock, where Lisa Loud begins to examine him. She knocks on his torso.)

Bender: Wha-? Get off of me!

Lisa: Wow, a fully sentient robot! I would love to look inside, and examine your inner workings.

Bender: Yeah, well you can bite my shiny, metal ass! (Everyone not from an adult cartoon gasps at his language.) What, what I say?

(The next boat pulls up, and out comes Peter, Stewie, and Brian.)

Peter: (walks up to Chris) Whelp, let's get this over with.

Chris: What do you mean?

Peter: (sighs irritably) We wanted to compete in America's Survivor, but they wouldn't let us. We got stuck doing this Canadian show.

Chris: Well, I like to think that Canada's shows, are just as good as America's. (Peter just laughs mockingly, as Chris gains an irritated expression.)

(Stewie and Brian walk up to Chris, where Chris looks happy to see Brian.)

Chris: Finally, a nice, normal pet.

Brian: Um, actually I'm a contestant.

Chris: Oh, of course you are. (begins petting Brian, and making baby noises)

Brian: Stewie, a little help here.

Stewie: (looking at the campground) Where the hell is the hot tub, the pool, and the day spa? Oh, this isn't fair! I wanted a massage from a hot, male masseuse!

Brian: Ugh.

(The next boat pulls up, revealing Stan, Steve, and Roger Smith from American Dad! Stan looks slightly irritated to belong here.)

Steve: C'mon, Dad, this might be really fun.

Stan: (grunts) I could be torturing terrorists instead of this.

(Roger, meanwhile, is transfixed on the camp.)

Roger: What, but this isn't a five star hotel on the beaches of Miami. Perhaps I should have been tipped off from our plane ride to Canada, but anyway is this where we're really staying?

Chris: Well, this is where you're staying. I have a sweet cottage down the way.

Roger: (points dramatically at Chris) You will pay for this!

Chris: Yeah, sure I will.

Roger: No, I mean you will literally (grabs Chris' shirt) Pay. For. This. (Chris looks slightly intimidated, as Roger lets him go, and walks off.)

(The next boat arrives, dropping off the next family on the list: the Belchers.)

Linda: All right, family bonding time. Let's get this competition underway.

Bob: Lin, do we really have to do this? I mean, we have to close the restaurant for the whole summer; we're losing so much money!

Linda: Nope, sorry, Bob, but this will be an excellent time to bond with each other. (Bob sighs.)

(Bob isn't the only one to not seem like the festive type; Louise is crossing her arms, and muttering to herself.)

Louise: Stupid Mom... Making us do this stupid thing... Wasting our whole summer.

Tina: C'mon, Louise, this'll be fun... probably.

Louise: This wouldn't be so bad if we were staying in a cool hotel, but this is just a gross camp.

Gene: Oh, c'mon, Louise, think of all the fun things we can do in a camp: run away from bears, get bitten by black flies, eat disgusting camp food... (Louise just groans, and covers her ears.)

(The next contestant to arrive was one Hank Hill.)

Hank: Uh, I'm here for the, um, Canadian competition.

Chris: Well, this is the only place for it. I'm your host, Chris McLean. I'm sure you've heard of me. (pause) Anyway, welcome to Total Drama Ultimate, Mr. Hill. (Hank gives a small smile, and holds out his hand to Chris.) Oh, I don't shake hands. (Hank gives a disappointed look, and walks abruptly to the other end of the dock.)

Hank: (looking around at all the people he'll be competing with) Lot of strange characters around here.

(The next contestants are seven children, all dressed in winter clothes.)

Cartman: (addressing the contestants already here) Ha-ha, all right you pussies, prepare to lose to my outstanding authoritah!

Kyle: Shut the **bleep **up, Cartman. As if you are going to be the one to win!

Cartman: Shut the hell up, you stupid, **bleep**ing Jew!

(Everyone stares shocked at the boys.)

Hank: Who-who raised you kids?

Stan Marsh: C'mon, guys, you are embarrassing us on live TV.

Craig: (walking up while holding hands with Tweak) Yeah, Kyle's right. Cartman doesn't stand a chance; me and Tweak are going to win. (pulls up his middle finger to the other boys)

Tweak: What, you-you never said we we're going to try and win. You s-said this was just for fun? This is just too much pressure!

Butters: Now, c'mon, guys, I know this competition is about beating everyone else, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun while we're at it. (All the other boys mutter in response. They all, including a silent Kenny, walk to the other end of the dock.)

(The next contestants arrive by portal, not unlike Star and Marco from before. A green, swirling portal appears in the air. All the other contestants who have yet to seen a portal stare in mesmerized silence.)

Stan M.: OK, am I **bleep**ing high right now?

(Out of the portal steps Rick and Morty.)

Rick: OK, here we are, Morty, a normal **bleep**ing reality show, just like you wanted. (He takes a drink from his hip flask.)

Morty: Oh, c'mon, Rick, this could be a lot of fun, y'know. No monsters, no imminent apocalypses, just a plain, normal reality show.

(The duo walks over to the other side of the dock, where Phineas looks interestingly at Rick.)

Phineas: Hey, is that a portal gun?

Rick: Yeah, no **bleep**, sherlock!

(The next boat pulls up, and out steps Samurai Jack.)

Chris: Jack, how does it feel to be here?

Jack: I am most honored to be chosen to be in your... competition.

Lincoln: Wow, cool, a real, live Samurai. (All the children on the dock crowds around him as Jack smiles.)

Stan S.: Huh, they didn't get that excited for a real, live CIA agent.

(The next boat pops up, and a pudgy boy immediately jumps out of it.)

Eddy: Are we here? Have I won yet? Where's that fat stack of cash?

Chris: Woah, Eddy, we haven't even started the competition yet. You'll have to compete like everyone else.

(Eddy gains a grumpy expression, as Double D and Ed walks out of the boat.)

Double D: (looks to the camp) This doesn't look anything like the brochure. It certainly isn't sanitary.

Ed: (walks up to Chris, and jerks up his hand) I like buttered toast!

Chris: Um, yeah.

(The next boat pulls up, and immediately five children jumps out of the boat, brandishing homemade weapons.)

Chris: Woah, woah, what's going on here?

Numbuh 1: (lowers his weapon) Area is secure. (walks up to Chris) Hello, adult, we are here to compete in your probably evil game.

Chris: Uh-huh, you must be the kids who thinks they're secret agents.

#2: What, but we are secret agents!

Chris: That's cute, big guy, (holds up some official looking forms) but we couldn't help but notice how in your application forms, you put numbers one through five where your names should be.

#4: Those are our codenames, and don't expect us to give you our real names, cruddy adult.

Chris: OK, then.

(The Kids Next Door walked over to the other side of the dock, where #3 stops by Mabel.)

Numbuh 3: Wow, I love your sweater.

Mabel: Oh, thank you. I love your rainbow monkey suitcase.

#3: Oh, thanks.

(The next boat pulls up, depositing four more characters, though only three would be competing.)

Chris: Everyone, this is Zim, Dib, and Gaz.

Leela: Are all the contestants going to be children?

Zim: Ha-ha-ha, prepare to feel my competition-winning prowess, filthy Earth monkeys. (A pause followed, where everyone looked at him.) Er, I mean... I am one of you, filthy Earth monkeys.

Dib: C'mon, you guys have to see that he is an alien, right? (Now, everyone was staring at Dib.)

Chris: Promising to cause drama is cool and all, but who's your friend, Zim.

(The camera moves to a person clearly wearing a dog costume.)

Zim: Oh, this is my... um, dog person. You did say that we could bring pets, right? (Gir begins laughing hysterically.)

Chris: Um, yeah, sure. (Dib, Zim and Gir walks to the other end of the dock, leaving Gaz still playing on her personal console.) Sorry, Gaz, but electronic devices are strictly forbidden. (He attempts to take the game away, only for Gaz to snarl at him. Chris jerks his hand away.) Or, I could just let it slide just this once.

Gaz: Whatever.

(The Invader Zim threesome moves to the other end of the dock.)

Roger: (staring at Zim, then leans over to Steve) That's an Irken. Don't ever lend them money, unless you never want to see it again.

(The nest contestants arrived in another unorthodox manner: a bright red bus emerged from the water, and parked on the beach. Out of the bus stepped SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward, all of them wearing bowls of water on their heads.)

Squidward: I can't believe you knuckleheads convinced to come on this stupid show.

SpongeBob: Oh, c'mon, Squidward, you know you came on this show because you love spending time with us.

Squidward: I came on this show only because my talents might be shown to the world. (steps on a half-eaten sandwich) What the-? (picks up the sandwich, then notices he campgrounds for the first time) What? This isn't a five star resort?

Patrick: (pointing to the sandwich) Are you gonna just let that go to waste. (He then eats the sandwich whole... while it's still in Squidward's hand.)

Chris: Um, guys, the rest of the contestants are on the dock.

Squidward: (as he and his companions walk onto the dock) Let's just get this over with.

(The next boat contains a normal, pink dog walking on its hind legs.)

Chris: Courage, glad to be here?

Courage: Oh, I guess... just so long as we don't do anything scary.

Chris: (pauses, before laughing in a menacing, theatrical way)

Courage: Oh, no.

(As Courage heads to the other side, the next boat deposits the Teen Titans of Teen Titans... Go! I can hear your groans from here.)

Starfire: Oh, this will be such a wonderful experience for all of us. I can't wait to start this game.

Beast Boy: You said it, Star!

Cyborg: Yeah, once me and Beastie win this game, will have one million big ones.

Raven: You guys do realize that only one person can win, right?

Beast Boy: No we do not, Mama!

Raven: … Meh.

Robin: (walks up to Chris, and shakes his hand) Hello, I'm Robin, the leader of the Teen Titans, and I'll be the one winning your competition.

Chris: Yeah, we'll see. (pauses in the midst of shaking, and looks down at Robin's hand.) Why does your hand feel so... small?

Robin: (jerks his hand away) No reason!

(The next boat takes a while to come, as the campers' boredom can attest. Finally, a line of bubbles indicating something under the surface of the water appears, heading to the dock. When it finally arrives, a colorful RV rises above the waves. Out of the RV comes Uncle Grandpa, Mr. Gus, and Pizza Steve.)

U.G.: Wow, it's so good to be here. (turns back to the RV, and waves) Goodbye, Giant Realistic Flying Tiger! Thanks for getting us here! (At the driver's seat, a tiger roars at UG, then drives the RV back under water.)

Pizza Steve: All right, the winner of this TV show has arrived. Everyone, bask in the glory that is Pizza Steve! (literal crickets chirp)

UG: (walks up to Rick, and smiles cheekily) Hello, Rick, so interesting to see you here today.

Morty: You know this guy, Rick?

Rick: We've had... dealings in the past.

(The next boat pops up, and out comes three anthropomorphic bears.)

Chris: Everyone, here is three walking, talking bears... oddly, not the strangest sight I've seen all day.

(As soon as the three bears get on the dock, they huddle up.)

Griz: All right, guys, we need to win this competition. Then, literally everyone in the world will want to be our friends.

Panda: Oh, yeah, and I might get to meet my dream girl.

Ice Bear: Ice Bear will spend winnings on nun chucks... lots and lots of nun chucks.

(The bears de huddle, and move to the other end of the dock, as the next contestants arrive. Wander and Sylvia float down to the dock in a giant bubble.)

Wander: (looks to the campgrounds, where a bear is now nosing around) Wow, this planet already looks so welcoming!

Sylvia: (looking at the campgrounds with clear distaste) Yeah, welcoming, you took the words right out of my mouth, Wander.

Chris: All right, campers. Our final contestant should be arriving any minute.

(True to form, a final boat pulled up, depositing Milo Murphy onto the dock, before speeding away, as if afraid of Milo.)

Chris: (walks up to Milo) Welcome to the island, Milo!

Milo: (stops Chris with his hands) I'd stand back if I were you. (Chris, confused, stands back. Milo stares at the water as if waiting for something.) Wait for it...

(A giant shark jumps into the sky, and tries to eat Milo. However, Milo has merely stepped away from the shark, causing it to plow through the dock back into the water. Milo walks over to the other side of the dock, finally noticing everyone staring at him.)

Milo: What?

Isabella: How-how did you know that was going to happen.

Milo: Oh, that? Those sort of things happen to me all the time.

#2: So, your sort of like a... bad luck charm?

Milo: Afraid so. (Everyone takes an involuntary step from Milo.)

Baljeet: Is no one going to question the fact that a shark just appeared? Isn't this a temperate zone?

Chris: All will be revealed in a short time. (holds up a camera) All right, everyone, now that we're all here, let's make a photo for the promo's. Everyone bunch together, and hold that pose. (Everyone proceeds to do so, as Chris continues to fiddle with the camera.)

Chris: All right, everyone ready... one... two... (The dock makes one final ominous creak, before breaking apart, landing everyone into the water. All except LSP, who is still floating and talking on her phone.) … three! (proceeds to take a photo of the contestants in the water, before laughing. However, he notices that Lisa Loud, Rick, and Bubblegum have not fallen into the water.)

Chris: What, but you were supposed to pose for the photo?

Lisa: Oh, please, it was blatantly obvious what you were planning. Now, if anyone needs us, we'll be at the camp. (The trio leaves Chris in a foul mood.)

(The scene changes to the campfire pit of the camp. All of the contestants are assembled there, either sitting or standing, in various stages of soaking wet. Chris soon appears, and stands behind the nearby podium.)

Chris: All right, you've all read your applications, so you all know why your here. You will all compete in challenges against each other, and some of you will be voted off. The single contestant who is not voted off will receive one million dollars! (Eddy and Grunkle Stan get dollar signs in their eyes.) You will all be competing in five distinct areas throughout the summer; this is area 1, a crusty, old summer camp. The people around you may be your teammates: they could be your friends (#3 and Mabel look at each other, and smile.), your enemies (Squidward and the Ice King raise their eyebrows at one another.), or a little bit of both. Speaking of which, let's get you guys divided into teams. The first team will consist of: Steven, Connie, Greg, Soos, Lincoln, Luan, Lola, Bubblegum, Mordecai, Skips, Ferb, Baljeet, Bart, Bender, Stan Smith, Linda, Hank, Kenny, Rick, Double D, Numbuh 3, Dib, Squidward, Raven, Mr. Gus, and Ice Bear.

(The group assembles on the left side of the campfire pit, and Chris throughs them a flag, which unravels to reveal...)

Chris: You guys will be none as the Screaming Gophers!

Bart: A gopher, seriously?

Soos: I don't know, lots of people say I look like a human gopher, so I think it fits.

Mr. Gus: I'm just glad I'm not on a team with Pizza Steve.

Luan: (proceeds to tell a corny joke about gophers, much to the chagrin of Lincoln and Lola)

Chris: The next team will be: Garnet, Peridot, Dipper, Wendy, Lori, Lynn, Lisa Loud, Marceline, Rigby, Muscle Man, Candace, Buford, Lisa Simpson, Peter, Steve, Tina, Stan Marsh, Butters, Morty, Eddy, Numbuh 4, Gaz, Courage, Cyborg, Pizza Steve, and Wander. You will be known as the Killer Bass!

Numbuh 4: A fish? Our team's named after a grody fish?

Pizza Steve: I agree. Pizza Steve's not going to be on a team named after a fish. (Most of the other team members murmur their agreement on the subject.)

Wander: Oh, c'mon guys. It's not all that bad. Let's just try to put a positive spin on things. (However, only Butters seems to agree with Wander, as the rest of the team raises their eyebrows at him.)

Chris: The next team will consist of: Amethyst, Lapis, Mabel, Star, Leni, Lucy, Finn, the Ice King, Benson, High Five Ghost, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Fry, Stewie, Roger, Gene, Kyle, Craig, Jack, Numbuh 1, Numbuh 5, SpongeBob, Robin, Beast Boy, Griz, and Sylvia. You will be known as the Flying Loons! (literal crickets chirp after this announcement.)

Leni: (leans over to Star): What's a loon?

Star: Some kind of crazy person I think.

Gene: Woo-hoo! I'm a loon!

Chris: And finally: Pearl, Bismuth, Grunkle Stan, Marco, Luna, Lana, Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, Pops, Phineas, Isabella, Homer, Leela, Brian, Bob, Louise, Cartman, Tweak, Ed, Numbuh 2, Zim, Patrick, Starfire, Uncle Grandpa, Panda, and Milo. You will be known as the Ferocious Boars!

Cartman: Are we allowed to change our name to something that's not **bleep**ing ridiculous?

Homer: At least it's not as bad as a gopher or a loon! (The rest of the team laughs, followed by the other teams glaring at Homer.)

SpongeBob: Oh, no Patrick, we're on separate teams!

Chris: All right, before we get into the tour of the camp, we have somebody I want you to meet. A large number of interns auditioned to help around the areas over the summer, and three, very eager teenagers made the cut. (The interns in question arrived at the campfire pit.)

Double D: It-it can't be!

Eddy: This is nuts!

Ed: Kanker's bad for Ed!

(The interns are revealed to be the Kanker sisters from Ed, Edd, n' Eddy, wearing flannel, intern shirts.)

Lee: You didn't think we'd let our boyfriends spend the whole summer by themselves, did you? (The threesome laughs cruelly.)

Chris: All right, with that out of the way, any questions? (Literally everyone raises their hands.) No questions? Good. Let's get into the tour of the camp.

(The scene changes to the campgrounds, where Chris is standing in front of the crowd of competitors.)

Chris: (gestures to the four cabins) These are your living arrangements. Each cabin has the name of your team helpfully written above the doors; boys get one side of each cabin, girls get the other. There is a communal bathroom across the way, and I would highly recommend you start unpacking now. Lunch is in fifteen, and the cook doesn't like to be left waiting. (begins to leave) Oh, and one more thing...

(The scene shifts to outside an outhouse.)

Chris: This is the outhouse confessional. Here you can vent your secrets, feelings, or plots to the camera. So, who wants to give it a go?

**Confessional (Lincoln): So, this is the confessional, huh? Well, I guess I should start off by saying that the main reason I'm here, besides the cash prize, it to win in order to finally earn the respect of my sisters.**

**(Linda): Aw, poot, I was hoping that the whole family would be together for some quality bonding time. Now, we're all on different teams!**

**(Peridot): Oh, so this is like my recorder from back at home. Good, because there's some things that I'd like to get off my chest, so to speak. Firstly,... (The camera fast forwards to when Peridot is done with her spiel, nearly 15 minutes later.) ...and that's about all I have to say. (heavy knocking on the door) Just wait a minute, will you?**

**(Lisa Simpson): The reason why I have decided to enter this competition is to earn enough money to start my own charity organization. (holds up a picture of a sea lion) It'll be to save the sea lions.**

**(Peter): (pauses, before farting loudly, then giving his trademark laugh)**

**(Steve): Why does it smell so bad in here? Well, anyway, the reason my Dad and Roger seems so angry is that my Mom is making us do this competition for family bonding, or whatever. I'm trying to make the most of it, but the others, not so much.**

**(Tina): I hope a lot of cute guys are watching this show, so now that I'm famous, they'll all want to give me their cellphone numbers. **

**(Numbuh 5): #5 doesn't want to even be here. #1 is making us do this thing, because he thinks that there's some evil adult conspiracy involved, but I think it's a load of phooey.**

**(Lana): (looking down into the tank) Hmm, this plumbing could definitely be improved. **

**(Brian): (lights a cigarette) This is going to be a long summer.**

(The scene cuts to the Gopher cabin, at the boys' side. The door swings open revealing the interior of the cabin, in all its crummy glory. A pause followed as the 19 Gopher boys stared at their new home.)

Ice Bear: (pulls out a cellphone) Ice Bear is calling lawyer.

(As the rest of the boys heads into the cabin, Hank stays on the porch, and rubs his eyes irritably. Linda comes out of the girls' side, and walks up to him.)

Linda: Hi, I'm Linda Belcher. I guess we're on the same team, aren't we. (holds out her hand to shake)

Hank: (raises up his hands) Oh, I'm actually married.

Linda: (as Hank practically runs back into the cabin) Wha-what?

(Inside the cabin, Hank passes by several people who have paired up to be bunkmates: Rick and Bender are drinking together, Baljeet and Double D are exchanging science notes, and Squidward and Mr Gus are simply unpacking in silence. Hank finally finds an empty bunk, where Stan Smith is unpacking on the bottom bunk.)

Hank: (raises his hand to shake Stan's) Hank Hill.

Stan: (shakes his hand) Stan Smith.

Hank: (points to Stan's pin) Nice to see a fellow American patriot here in Canada.

Stan: Thanks, you want to share bunks. (Hank smiles in response.)

(The scene cuts to the girls' side, where Connie and Raven are looking around at the cabin.)

Connie: Well, this cabin is... OK?

Raven: Meh. I've seen Beast Boy's room. This is nothing compared to that.

(The scene cuts to the Bass cabin. Once the girls go into their cabin, they look around in clear distaste.)

Lisa Simpson: And I thought it looked bad on the outside.

Lisa Loud: (begins spraying chemicals all around the room) Disinfectant is required if I'm to sleep here. Who knows what has previously been done in this building.

(All the girls begin to unpack, except for Garnet and Peridot, who apparently have brought nothing at all.)

Marceline: (floats above the Gems) Aren't you guys going to unpack?

Peridot: Silly human.

Marceline: I'm a vamp-

Peridot: We Gems don't need a mere bunk to sleep in. We only sleep when we feel like it.

Marceline: Um, OK.

(At the boys' side, Eddy and Numbuh 4 both plop their bags on the same top bunk.)

Eddy: Hey, I was here first!

Numbuh 4: Think again, baldy. The top bunk is mine. (He begins to roll his sleeves for a fight; Eddy begins to look scared. That is, until Numbuh 4 notices something behind Eddy that spooks him.) Never mind. I'll take the bottom bunk.

(Eddy is now confused, he looks behind to see Lee looking in through the window, glaring daggers at Numbuh 4. She the looks lovingly at Eddy, causing him even more fright.)

(Meanwhile, Cyborg is looking glum sitting on his bunk, until Wander walks up to him.)

Wander: Hey, Cyborg wasn't it? What's the matter big guy?

Cyborg: (sighs) It's just that I'm so sad that Beast Boy isn't on my team.

Wander: Cheer up, buddy, I can be your new friend if you like.

Cyborg: Um, sure, OK.

Wander: Great, I'll bunk with you!

(At the Loons' cabin, the boys are all busy unpacking, when Robin enters the room.0

Robin: All right, listen up. I have decided to nominate myself as team leader, so all of you have to do what I say. That means no getting in my way as I effortlessly win this thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the lavatory. (leaves the room, while the boys all stare in silence)

Griz: Um, OK?

Stewie: Man what an **bleep**hole.

Beast Boy: Oh, that's just Robin. Don't worry, you'll get used to him.

Fry: Really?

Beast Boy: Nope. Now, who wants to bet me to eat anything I find under the beds?

(Sounds of disgust from the boys can be heard from outside the cabin, except for Gene's voice.)

Gene: I do!

(The camera pans over to the girls' side, where Sylvia is poking the rug in the center of the cabin.)

Sylvia: Whelp, this'll just have to do. (curls up on the rug, causing a cloud of dust to appear, sending her into a coughing fit.)

(Leni and Mabel are sitting on a bunk a few feet away, discussing fashion.)

Mabel: And if you want, I can make you one of my sweaters.

Leni: Oh, that'll be totes adorb.

(Suddenly, Lucy pops up from one of the vents above the two girls.)

Lucy: Can you keep it down? I'm trying to read my poetry.

Mabel: Aren't you going to find a bunk to sleep on?

Lucy: I prefer the vents.

(At the Boars' cabin, Louise is looking for a bunk on the girls' side. She finds one, but is under LSP, who is still chatting constantly on her phone. Louise groans, and continues trying to find a suitable bunk. She passes by Luna [who is playing her guitar], Leela [who is practicing karate moves on a dummy she hung up], and Starfire [who is blowing her hair by the cracked mirror]. Finally, she finds a bunk.)

Louise: Well, looks like it's just you and me.

Pearl: (also looking distastefully at the other Boar girls) I guess.

(On the boys' side, Milo is also looking for a bunk. However, he finds all the bunks filled up.)

Milo: Good thing I came prepared. (pulls out a sleeping bag from his backpack, and lays it on the floor)

(Uncle Grandpa is standing in the middle of the room, when Marco walks up to him.)

Marco: So, what kid of a name is 'Uncle Grandpa'?

UG: Oh, that's because I'm everyone in the world's uncle and grandpa.

Marco: That's... actually kind of creepy.

UG: (shrugs) You're telling me.

(Meanwhile, Ed and Patrick walks up to one another.)

Ed: Hello, Ed am I.

Patrick: Hey, I'm Patrick.

Ed: (pulls out a pitcher of gravy from his pocket) Would you like some gravy?

Patrick: Of course I would!

(Suddenly, the loudspeakers situated around camp blare on.)

Chef: All right, you maggots! If you want some grub, you better come and get it!

(The scene shifts to the Mess Hall, where all the campers are lined up for lunch.)

Chef: All right, I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day, unless you want to go hungry. Now, get your plate, get your food, and sit your butts down, now!

Bart: (to Kenny) OK, don't have a cow man. (Kenny laughs.)

Chef: What did you say, spike hair? Maybe you'd like to share it with the whole class.

Bart: Um, nothing, sir.

Chef: That's what I thought.

(Candace, who is the first in line, puts her plate up to Chef, who gives her what could pass as a sloppy joe.)

Candace: Um, is this what counts as food nowadays?

Chef: (gives her a death glare)

Candace: Um, never mind. (goes to sit at the Bass table, as the line moves forward)

(Soon, the tables are all filled up with contestants eating (or trying to eat) the food. Homer, who is the last to sit down, takes a bite of his food, only to spit it out again. He pauses, tries it again, then spits it out. This continues, until the camera pans over to Leela, who is constantly getting spit on. Finally, she kicks Homer in the groin to get him to stop.)

(After about fifteen minutes, Chris reappears.)

Chris: All right, campers, your first ever challenge will be in fifteen minutes. Be ready for the most dangerous thing in your life! (He leaves.)

High Five Ghost: What do you think they're going to make us do?

Doof: Oh, c'mon, they're not going make us do something life threatening. I mean, what are they going to make us do, jump off a cliff?

(The camera switches to all the campers on top of a cliff, ready to do just that.)

Kyle: Aw, **bleep**.

**XXXXX**

**Screaming Gophers: ****Steven, Connie, Greg, Soos, Lincoln, Luan, Lola, Bubblegum, Mordecai, Skips, Ferb, Baljeet, Bart, Bender, Stan Smith, Linda, Hank, Kenny, Rick, Double D, Numbuh 3, Dib, Squidward, Raven, Mr. Gus, and Ice Bear.**

**Killer Bass: ****Garnet, Peridot, Dipper, Wendy, Lori, Lynn, Lisa Loud, Marceline, Rigby, Muscle Man, Candace, Buford, Lisa Simpson, Peter, Steve, Tina, Stan Marsh, Butters, Morty, Eddy, Numbuh 4, Gaz, Courage, Cyborg, Pizza Steve, and Wander.**

**Flying Loons: ****Amethyst, Lapis, Mabel, Star, Leni, Lucy, Finn, the Ice King, Benson, High Five Ghost, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Fry, Stewie, Roger, Gene, Kyle, Craig, Jack, Numbuh 1, Numbuh 5, SpongeBob, Robin, Beast Boy, Griz, and Sylvia.**

**Ferocious Boars: ****Pearl, Bismuth, Grunkle Stan, Marco, Luna, Lana, Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, Pops, Phineas, Isabella, Homer, Leela, Brian, Bob, Louise, Cartman, Tweak, Ed, Numbuh 2, Zim, Patrick, Starfire, Uncle Grandpa, Panda, and Milo.**

**Eliminated: 0**

**Current Competitors: 104**


	2. Not So Happy Campers, Part 2

(The episode opens up on the characters still on top of the cliff; all of them are looking down with barely concealed fear at the water down below.)

Chris: You're first challenge is to jump off this one thousand foot cliff into the lake.

Mordecai: Uh, what?

(Everyone stares angrily at Doofenshmirtz.)

Doof: What, like I knew that we really were going to do this.

Dipper: You can't make us jump off a cliff, that's insane!

Chris: I don't know what you're complaining about, I haven't even got to the hard part yet.

Vanessa: You've got to be joking.

Chris: Nope. Now if you look down to the lake you'll notice three rings in the water. The smaller ring is your target, the larger ring, to put it bluntly, is most certainly not. That's because we've stocked it with rare, freshwater, man eating sharks.

(As if on cue, two sharks reared their ugly heads, and snarled at the campers. Everyone stares shocked.)

Baljeet: Oh, so that's why the sharks are here. Also... (faints)

**Confessional (Pearl): This is insane!**

**(Dib): I refuse!**

**(Amethyst): Awesome!**

Chris: If you make it into the safe zone, you receive a point for your team. Back out of the jump, and you will have to take the losers' way down. (points to an escalator)

Lucy: Um, that wasn't there before.

Chris: You will also have to wear this chicken hat for the rest of the day.

Leni: Oh, that is so not fashion friendly.

Lisa Loud: (walks up to Chris, and snaps her fingers) That hat will be for me.

Chris: You sure? The Bass may need you to jump.

Lisa: Positive.

Chris: All right, that's one down for the Bass already.

(Lisa shuffles to the escalator, as the Bass give each other nervous glances.)

Chris: For those that survive the jump, there are crates on the shoreline. For your second part of the challenge, you will have to lug the crates back to camp, and use their contents to make a rockin' hot tub. Best hot tub wins the challenge, worst has to vote someone off the island for good. (begins to leave) Oh, and one more thing: whoever has the most people jump will receive some carts to haul their crates in. Gophers, your up first.

(All the Gophers stare nervously around at each other, waiting for the first person to step forward. Finally, someone did.)

Greg: I shall go first.

Steven: Dad, no, you're not a Gem like me. You could get really hurt, or worse...

Greg: Don't worry about me Steven, someone has to go first. (walks to the edge of the cliff) Oh, boy, starting to regret this. (He then jumps, falls through the air, and lands in the... safe zone. He pops up back from under the water, and waves to his team.) C'mon, guys, the water's great!

(The Gophers stare in shock that he actually make it, until Steven cheers his Dad.)

Steven: Woo-hoo, Dad! C'mon, guys! (jumps off the cliff, landing next to his Dad)

(A montage of other Gopher's falling follows.)

Soos: Soos!

Skips: (falls in complete silence)

Bart: Woah!

Rick: Awww, yeah!

Ice Bear: (does several complicated tricks while falling)

Luan: (cracks a joke about falling)

Numbuh 3: (screams like a little girl... which she is)

(Back at the top of the cliff, Linda looks down nervously over the cliff.)

Linda: OK, Linda, You survived through three pregnancies, you can survive this. (She jumps off the cliff, as the camera pans over to the rest of the Gophers.)

Mr. Gus: I'm not doing this! No way, no how!

Double D: I concur. The chances of making it into that tiny ring is 3 to 1.

Hank: I'm going to back out of this as well.

Stan Smith: Oh, c'mon Hank, just pretend your doing it for America, not Canada.

Chris: If you all want to back out, that'll leave three down for the Gophers. (Somewhat shamefully, the three took their respective chicken hats.)

Ferb: (standing on the edge while carrying Baljeet) I assume it's all right if he's carried across.

Chris: (not really paying attention) Um, yeah, sure, whatever.

(Ferb proceeds to jump, along with Bender, Dib, Connie, and Bubblegum.)

(Raven looks at Chris, who is still not paying attention. She then nonchalantly snaps her fingers, teleporting into the safe zone down below.)

Kenny: (looks over the edge, and sighs, almost resignedly. He jumps, landing in the danger zone. The sharks immediately swim up, and tear him apart. Everyone gasps.)

Stan: Oh my God, they killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

Chris: (gulps) Well, the first death. I honestly wasn't expecting that 'til later.

(Stan Smith is the next to jump, leaving only Lincoln, Mordecai, Squidward, and Lola.)

Mordecai: So, are you guys going to do this or what?

Squidward: Not me. I knew this game was a bad idea from the start. (He walks over to receive his chicken hat.)

Lincoln: (kneels down next to Lola) You know, it's not so bad if you decide to chicken out.

Lola: I know. I just don't want my perfect hair to get wet. (Lincoln rolls his eyes.)

(After Lola takes her chicken hat, Lincoln and Mordecai look nervously at one another, followed by them jumping.)

Chris: OK, that's five Gophers not jumping. Bass, you're up next.

(Despite seeing 21 Gophers jump over the edge fine, the Bass were still hesitant to jump. Finally, Garnet walked over to the edge, gaged the distance, then jumped off in a perfect dive. She landed in the safe zone, to the cheers of her team.)

Wendy: (to Marceline) Wow, she must really want to win this thing if she's willing to do that.

**Confessional (Garnet): I don't really care about this game. The only reason I'm part of it is because Steven wanted us to, so I will try to win it as best as I can.**

(Another montage of people falling soon followed.)

Lynn: Waa-Hoo!

Peridot: (flapping her arms while screaming)

Numbuh 4: Cannonball!

Muscle Man: (swings his shirt around while falling) Woooo!

Wander: Aaaaagh!

(Up at the top of the cliff, Morty looks down the edge.)

Morty: My grandfather has me doing far worse than this. (jumps)

Eddy: (walking over to the edge, and watches Morty fall into the safe zone) Uh, no way that I'm doing this.

Lisa Simpson: You took the words right out of my mouth.

Lori: (walks up to Eddy) Oh, you're doing this, twerp. I am not carrying those crates across the sand without carts.

Eddy: Oh, yeah, and who's going to make me jump? You?

(Lori narrows her eyes. One second later, Eddy is falling through the air into the safe zone. Back at the top, Lori is dusting her hands off.)

Lisa: (looks incredulously at Chris): Is she even allowed to do that?

Chris: Not against any of my rules.

Lisa: (looks nervously at Lori) Ha-ha-ha. (Next second, Lisa is falling through the air.)

(Up at the edge, Courage looks down nervously.)

Courage: Oh, let's just get this over with. (He falls screaming bloody murder into the safe zone.)

Courage: Wow, I actually made it. (He then watches as Buford, Steve, Stan Marsh, Butters, Cyborg, Wendy, and Marceline all joined him in the safe zone.)

(Up at the top of the cliff, Peter looks down the edge, before jumping. Unfortunately, he hits a rock on his way down, and ends up falling on the beach. He then proceeds to grasp his knee, and moan for a couple of minutes.)

(Gaz walks to the edge, and steps off nonchalantly, still playing her game.)

Gaz: Whatever.

(Dipper and Rigby are the next to jump, followed by Lori walking to the edge. She looks back, and narrows her eyes at the remaining three: Pizza Steve, Candace, and Tina.)

Lori: OK, it's all up to you three. Don't let us down. (She then jumps.)

Candace: (breathes in and out) OK, Candace, you can do this. You've done crazier things than this. (She runs to the edge of the cliff, and jumps.)

Pizza Steve: (proceeds to walk calmly to the edge) All right, let me show you how a real competitor jumps. (looks over the edge, and finally sees how far up he is) You know on second thought, maybe I'll just stick this one out. (The Bass down in the safe zone all groan and boo.) I'm sorry, but I can't let my fresh toppings get wet. (takes the chicken hat, and heads down the escalator)

(Meanwhile, Tina is watching the edge with a huge amount of trepidation. Finally, she breathes in and out, then, in slow motion, she begins to run to the edge. She very nearly makes it, until...)

Tina: (grounds to a halt) I can't do it. (All the Bass groan.)

Chris: So, including Lisa Loud, that's three for the Bass in total. Loons, you're up next.

**Confessional (Lori): OK, three isn't that bad; certainly better than five. I just hope we can win this thing.**

Robin: (steps forward in front of his team) All right, gang, I know this may seem very difficult, but if you just do what I say, maybe you'll help me get further in this game. (laughs) Oh, who am I kidding? Of course, I'll get further in the game.

Beast Boy: Uh, Robin?

Robin: Not right now, Beast Boy.

Beast Boy: But five people have already jumped off while you were giving your speech thing.

(Robin looks behind him to see Sylvia is jumping off the cliff, while Finn, Gene, Craig, Amethyst, and Lapis have already made it into the safe zone.)

Robin: (rushes to the edge) Hey, you were supposed to listen enraptured to my speech! (He jumps off, though he doesn't have the same amount of luck. He hits every rock on his way down, finally having his cape snagged on a tree branch. He struggles against the branch for a while, before giving up and groaning.)

Benson: (looks down the cliff at Robin, before looking at his team) All right, Loons, I know this challenge is scary, but I think we can do it. So, who's going next.

Jack: (steps forward) I will go next, Benson.

Benson: Good man. (watches as Jack makes his way to the cliff, then jumps in a dive into the safe zone)

(A montage of people falling follows.)

Doofenshmirtz: (falls while flailing his limbs around)

Kyle: Oh, crap!

Numbuh 1 and 5: (falls while holding on to one another)

Lucy: (gives a completely deadpan scream)

Ice King: (At first, it seems like he is heading to the danger zone. Instead, his robes poof up like a parachute, and floats him gently down into the safe zone.)

(At the top of the cliff, Benson is directing Fry, SpongeBob, Beast Boy, Mabel, and Star off the cliff.)

Benson: Go, go, go! (turns to the rest of the team) So, who's going next?

Stewie: I can't do this, I'm just a baby.

Leni: I agree with the talking baby. My hair will get wet on national TV.

Benson: (groans) Well, I guess two is better then three. Just take your chicken hats. (Stewie and Leni do just that. Unfortunately, they are soon joined by Vanessa.) Wait, what are you doing?

Vanessa: Yeah, like I'm actually going to jump off a one thousand foot cliff. I'll only do that when I want to be dead. (takes her chicken hat)

Benson: (groans louder, then looks to High Five Ghost, Roger, and Griz) Well, it looks like it's just us four.

Roger: (laughs) What are you kidding me? I'm not doing this. I just stuck around so long to see someone fall into the shark zone, and boy was I disappointed. (leaves to get his chicken hat)

Benson: (groans the loudest) All right, team, let's just jump off this cliff. (He, HFG, and Griz proceeds to do just that.)

Chris: All right, four for the Loons. Finally, the Boars are up next!

(Pearl turns to face her teammates on the edge of the cliff.)

Pearl: All right, team, I suggest that we should all go by the... how you say, buddy system, in order to better complete this assignment. (A bright light shines from her gemstone, creating an image of the various Boars jumping off the cliff, while holding hands. Everyone gasps in amazement.) That way we can get this part of the challenge done quickly, and, if we happen to fall into the danger zone, we'll at least have a companion to help us. (Pearl causes the image to dissipate.) Does anyone want to back out of the challenge?

Panda: I don't wanna do this; this is crazy?!

Bob: I'm with you, …er, talking panda. Man, that's a sentence I've never thought I'd say.

Zim: (looking cautiously over the edge) Um, I'm allergic to water.

Pearl: (sighs) Fine, anyone else?

(Brian, Cartman, Tweak, and LSP all raises their hands.)

Pearl: So, that leaves us with (silently counts her fingers) 7 people dropping out. Oh, boy.

Chris: (laughs cruelly, as he places a chicken hat on LSP, who is still on her phone) Man, seven players ducking out? Looks like the Boars lose this portion of the challenge big time, while the Bass wins those carts! (The Bass all cheer, as Pearl puts her face in her hands.)

**Confessional (Pearl): I was certainly not expecting _seven _****of my team members to refuse to jump. This is really going to set us back... not that I actually care about this game, it's just for Steven.**

Pearl: All right, team, I guess the only thing we can do now is to jump. (She moves to the edge, and completes a perfect dive off the cliff, landing in the safe zone. A montage of other Boars jumping soon follows.)

Phineas and Isabella: (jumps together while holding on to each other, with Phineas screaming, while Isabella looks ecstatic at Phineas holding her.)

Ed: (flapping his arms) Ha-ha, I'm a birdie!

Luna: (shows the 'rock on' insignia while falling)

Jake: (falls while his arms flail about, all stretched out)

Pops: (holding on to his legs) Oh, bad show!

(Milo is the next to fall, unfortunately landing in the danger zone. He floats up, as two sharks rear their ugly heads. Milo reaches into his backpack, and sprays the sharks with Shark Repellant, causing the sharks to run away. Milo then casually swims to shore.)

(The rest of the team in the safe zone watches this with open mouths, before being distracted by screaming. Homer is making his dive off the cliff; instead of going under the water, he hits it with an almighty smack. He floats back up, his torso red from the impact.)

Homer: Why am I the only one where reality happened?

Bismuth: All right, you guys, we may have lost those carts, but that doesn't mean we've lost the game. Now, c'mon! (She then directs Starfire, Grunkle Stan, and Marco off the cliff.)

Lana: (walks up to Bismuth) Um, can you carry me? It might be a whole lot less... well, scary.

Bismuth: Of course, little girl. (picks up Lana, then jumps off the cliff in a cannonball)

(The camera cuts to Patrick eating a tub of popcorn; the camera pans out to show Uncle Grandpa dragging Patrick to the edge of the cliff.)

UG: All right, Mr. Starfish, let's jump off this cliff!

Patrick: I don't know, Uncle Grandpa, it seems pretty scary!

UG: What are you talking about, guy, we're already down here. (The camera pans out to show that the duo are already in the safe zone.)

Patrick: Woah, how did you do that?

UG: Do what? (looks genuinely confused)

(Up at the top of the cliff, Leela, Louise, and Numbuh 2 are the only Boars left.)

Leela: (turns to her fellow teammates) All right, we're the only ones left. You two better jump while I'm gone; we don't want it to end up with eight chickens. (She then walks to the edge, jumps off in a neat trick, and dives into the safe zone.)

#2: Um, ladies first, heh, heh.

Louise: (walks up to the edge) OK, Louise, you can do this. (She closes her eyes for a second, then jumps. She lands in the Safe Zone, quickly followed by #2.)

Linda: (from the shore) All right, Louise.

Bender: Hey, you can't cheer for her, she's on the other team!

Linda: (looks at the rest of her team, who are glaring at her) What, I'm not allowed to cheer for my daughter?

Chris: All right, now with the first part done, (looks directly at camera) let's move onto the second part.

(The scene cuts to all the campers assembled on the shoreline; in front of them are the various crates. Chris is standing on one of them.)

Chris: All right, your second part will be to take these crates all the way back to camp, then use their contents to create a rockin' hot tub. The Bass are the only ones ho get any help on this, by way of the crates.

(The Kanker Sisters wheel out the crates, much to the Bass' delight. The rest of the teams look at each other uncertainly.)

(The scene cut to all the Bass pulling their carts through the sand.)

Butters: Who's up for a fun song of "100 Bottles of Soda on the Wall"?

#4: (Comes up threateningly close to Butters) You sing one tune, and I'll knock you down in the sand so hard, that you'll be picking sand out of your ears for weeks.

Butters: (gulps) Um, yes, sir.

(Meanwhile, Lori and Candace are pulling a cart together. Although the carts definitely made things easier, it was still hard to drag them through the sand. Therefore, the girls were both sweating profusely.)

Candace: Wow, this is a lot harder than he made it out to be.

Lori: I know. It wouldn't be so bad if we had some help. (She directs a glare to Gaz, who is sitting on a box, playing her game.)

(She isn't the only one not helping; Pizza Steve and Eddy were both walking beside their fellow teammates. Rigby, who is pulling a cart with Muscle Man, glares at them.)

Rigby: Don't you think you could help a little?

Pizza Steve: (looking at his reflection in a mirror) Sorry, if I work any, I'll start to sweat, ruining my excellent looks.

Eddy: Yeah, and if you hadn't noticed there's only so much carts. I don't need to work anyway.

(Rigby begins to retort, but Muscle Man lays a hand on his shoulder.)

MM: Let it go, bro. Come elimination time, they won't know what hit them. (Rigby smiles deviously in response.)

(The scene switches to last place in the competition, the Loons. They are currently struggling along, barely managing to push their crates. We zoom in on Dr. Doofenshmirtz and his daughter Vanessa pushing one of the crates together.)

Vanessa: (sweating profusely) Thanks again, Dad, for making me come to this stupid summer camp.

Doof: (sighs)

(Meanwhile, Beast Boy has changed into a gorilla, and is carrying his and Griz's crate on his back.)

Griz: So, you can change into any animal you want? Wow, that is awesome! Can you change into me? (Beast Boy immediately changes into a grizzly bear.) So cool!

(Roger and Stewie are pushing a crate together, that is until Roger suddenly takes his hands off the crate in pain.)

Roger: Ow, I got a splinter. (looks at his hand, while Stewie is struggling to push the crate) And it's one of those little ones that you can't quite get out.

Stewie: (red in the face) Little help, here?

Roger: Oh, don't worry about me, I'll be all right.

(Stewie continues trying and failing to push by himself, as the scene switches to second place. The Boars are speeding along, due to Jake having shapeshifted to a gigantic size, while carrying all the crates on his back. Suddenly, Chris swings by on his ATV, and speaks through a megaphone at the Boars.)

Chris: Um, excuse me, there are to be no special powers used in this stage of the competition!

(Jake shape shifts back down, letting the crates fall onto the sand.)

Starfire: But I saw friend Beast Boy shape shift into the gorilla?

Chris: Some powers are OK in my book, just so long that they aren't used to win the competition in one single stroke. So, get to pushing!

(He wheels his ATV around, heading back to camp, spraying Panda, Homer, and Lana with sand. Milo would have been covered with sand as well, if he hadn't taken out an umbrella from his backpack.)

Pearl: All right, you heard him, let's start pushing.

(Leela is looking at one of the crates, judging its size, when Pops walks by.)

Pops: Excuse me, fair maiden, but wouldn't you like some assistance with that crate.

Leela: No need. (proceeds to heave up the crate onto her back)

Pops: Oh, my!

(Ed also heaves up his crate onto his back.)

Ed: To the campsite, my fellow paladins. (begins to full on run to the camp)

Patrick: Wow, cool, I want to do that! (tries to pick up a crate, and succeeds... but only for a moment, before the crate crushes him) Ow.

(In the third place, the Gophers were making good time, considering the weight of the crates.)

Lincoln: (pauses pushing with Bart) Wow, this is hard! I wish we were the ones to get the carts.

Bart: Tell me about it. I've got aches and pains I shouldn't have until I'm Homer's age.

Lincoln: You call your father by his first name?

Bart: Yeah, don't you?

Lincoln: …not especially.

(Hank and Rick, meanwhile, are carrying their crate with both of them on either side.)

Hank: So, you're like some kind of... mad scientist, huh?

Rick: Mad, no. Scientist... I guess you can say that.

Homer: So, um, what's it like. I can't imagine it would more exciting than a propane salesman.

Rick: …You know, I don't really want to talk right now.

(Luan and Skips are pushing a crate together, with Luan regaling Skips on her vast repertoire of jokes. Skips has an awkward, fixed smile.)

**Confessional (Skips): Jeez, and I thought my cousin Quips' jokes were bad.**

(At the campsite, the Bass are the first ones to arrive.)

Lynn: Yeah, first place!

Lisa S.: (looks behind them at the shoreline) And I can't even see the other teams! This part of the competition will be a cinch.

Chris: (walks in front of the camera) Oh, will it? If you feel so confident, then maybe I should make it a little bit harder. You cannot open a crate with any part of your body except your teeth. (All the Bass groans.)

Stan M.: What the hell are we supposed to do if our teeth break?

Chris: (shrugs) Not my problem. (looks at his watch) I'll be back in fifteen minutes, you guys shouldn't be...

(Garnet calmly walks to one of the crates, bites on it, and rips it open. She proceeds to do the same to two other crates. The Bass all cheer.)

Chris: …done by then. (walks away looking irritated)

(The Loons are still at rock bottom of the competition. Suddenly, Doofenshmirtz raises his hand.)

Doof: Um, excuse me, I have to use the bathroom.

Benson: (face palms) Fine, does anyone else need to go? (Fry, Craig, and Leni all raise their hands.) Be quick about it.

(The foursome walks into the woods, each of them going their separate ways. Doofenshmirtz walks through the woods, until Perry the Platypus bursts out of the foliage.)

Doof: Perry the Platypus! How did you find out where I am? Well, anyway, sorry, but I don't have any evil schemes planned for the whole summer. This competition is actually a ploy to spend time with Vanessa. Actually, now that you're here, maybe you can help me in this competition. You know, make me look good in front of my daughter. (Perry merely raises his eyebrow.)

(Meanwhile, back at the shoreline with the rest of the Loons, Lucy is reading her poetry to the team.)

Numbuh 1: (sniffs, and wipes a tear from his eye)

Numbuh 5: Numbuh 1, are you crying at a poetry reading?

#1: No, I just got sand in my eye, that's all.

(In second place, the Gophers and the Boars are now neck and neck. Chris drives up in his ATV)

Chris: Oh, it's now anyone's game for second place! Will it be the Boars or the Gophers?

(Grunkle Stan takes a break from pushing, and cracks his back. Soos walks over from the other team.)

Stan: So, how is your team faring?

Soos: Great, actually. This girl keeps telling these amazing jokes. Tell me another one! (From off screen, Luan tells another of her jokes.) Ha-ha-ha, classic.

(Brian, meanwhile, walks up to Leela while she's taking a break from carrying her crate.)

Brian: Hi, I'm Brian.

Leela: Don't really care.

Brian: Oh, I think you will. You see, I'm a published author. (pulls out an autographed copy of his book) Perhaps you've heard of me.

Leela: Nope. (Picks up her crate, and begins walking away.)

Brian: All right, c-catch you later. (He then cheekily watches Leela's rear end, until Leela looks back with a glare. Brian then begins whistling and looking the other direction.)

(Meanwhile, with the Gophers, Squidward and Mr. Gus are at the back of the group, each trying desperately to push their crate.)

Squidward: (thinking) Just get through this Squidward. You can pommel SpongeBob and Patrick for machining you come on this thing later.

Mr. Gus: (thinking) Just get through this Gus. You can pommel Pizza Steve for convincing Uncle G. to come on this stupid show later.

(Lola, #3, and Dib are all pushing a crate by themselves.)

Dib: And that is my theory on how the government faked the moon landing.

Lola: (glances at #3) Wow, that's... really great.

**Confessional (Lola): Why do I get the feeling that I'm going to be stuck with weirdo's for this whole competition?**

(The scene switches to the Bass at the campgrounds. They have all got their crates open, and are now arguing over how to build the hot tub. Lisa Loud and Peridot are trying to build the motor for the tub.)

Lisa: And I'm saying that we need to improve this inefficient motor.

Peridot: Of course, that's what I'm saying as well... but using my method of improvement.

(Dipper and Buford are are trying to build the frame of the tub.)

Dipper: Ugh, you're totally wrong! (holds up two planks of wood) This board connects to this one, and this board connects to this other one!

Buford: Oh, yeah? (holds up his left fist) Well, my two fists think that I'm right, don't they? (Dipper immediately leaves in a huff.)

(Meanwhile, Courage is hammering at a board, only to hammer directly on his paw.)

Courage: Yow! (shoots up straight in the air)

(Lori and Garnet are both watching this chaos, with Garnet in particular watching as Courage sails through the air in pain.)

Garnet: Well, that's got to leave a mark.

Lori: Ugh. (whistles through her fingers) All right, everyone, listen up! (All the Bass immediately line up, saluting to their commander in chief.) Here's how things are going to go down! You are going to do what I say from here on out, and maybe, just maybe, we'll win this thing. Do I make myself clear?

Everyone: Ma'am, yes, Ma'am!

Lori: Good.

(Fifteen minutes later, the Bass have been coordinated into a proper construction crew. Meanwhile, Chris is laying on a beach chair, looking out through binoculars at the shoreline.)

Chris: And the team arriving in second place is... the Boars! No, the Gophers! No, it's the...

(The Boars are the first to arrive in second place, followed closely by the Gophers.)

Marco: (sweating profusely) We- we made it. (Immediately faints dead away.)

Connie: Hurry you guys, and open your crates! The Bass are already underway!

(The two teams head to their respective crates, right before Chris walks into frame.)

Chris: Hold on there, teams. In order to open your respective crates, you will need to only use... your teeth!

Bender: What! You're just making this crap up as we go along!

Chris: Never said I wasn't. Good luck. (walks away, leaving the Boars and the Gophers to all groan)

(The camera switches to the Loons, who are still trudging along in last place.)

Benson: (stopping to look across the shoreline) Hey, guys, I think I see the campsite! We're almost there! (The team cheers.)

Kyle: (pushing a crate with Gene) Jesus, I thought we'd never reach it!

Gene: I know! It feels like we've been pushing for hours!

(Back at the campsite, the Bass are looking at their completed hot tub. It is a pretty standard hot tub, not much to complain about.)

Marceline: Whelp, I think we did a good job, guys. (The Bass mutter in agreement.)

Cyborg: Would've been nicer if we received some help. (glares over at Pizza Steve, Eddy, and Gaz, who are sitting resolutely on the porch steps to the Bass cabin.)

Pizza Steve: What, you guys seemed to have it all worked out.

Gaz: I'm on the final level. No time to help out.

(Meanwhile, the Boars and the Gophers have all got their crates open, and are now examining the parts to the hot tub. Suddenly, the Loons pulled up, all looking dog tired.)

Homer: Wow, what took you guys so long.

Linda: Yeah, it's been nearly three hours since we started.

Finn: Hey, it was really difficult without the carts, or someone's shape shifting powers, Jake.

Jake: Sorry, man, but I had to help my team. Chris did tell me to stop halfway there.

Benson: (turns to the rest of the Loons) All right, team. I know this seems like beating a dead horse...

Mabel: Who would beat a dead horse?!

Benson: ...but I still think we have a chance, so who's with me? (The Ice King, looking the most tired, walks up, and faints next to Benson.) Oh, why do I even bother?

(A montage starts to play of the Gophers, Boars, and Loons all completing their hot tub. The Boars and Gophers are all working diligently, with: Bender bending planks into their proper position; Bubblegum and Ferb both looking at blueprints, and writing improvements; Mordecai and Greg hammering away at boards.)

(At the Boars, Phineas and Zim are blow torching a much more advanced version of the motor; Isabella and #2 are carrying planks to a hammering Bismuth; Starfire is using her laser vision to geld planks to one another.)

(In contrast to the above teams, the Loons are doing rather poorly in their construction: Jack is looking at the more technological tools with some confusion; Amethyst is secretly eating some of the building materials; and Leni is happily pounding a plank with a hammer... without any nails.)

(Eventually, the time has come for the judging of the hot tubs. Chris is walking around the tubs, looking critically at them. Apart from the Bass, the Gophers and Boars, due to having many scientific geniuses on their team, have built high-tech hot tubs. Meanwhile, the Loons have easily the worst tub of them all: riddled with holes, swampy water, and a smoking motor.)

Chris: (finishing inspecting) All right, most of you have really outdone yourselves in this challenge. The key word being, most of you. (casts a glance to a worried Loons) But, I think the winners of today's challenge is... a tie between the Gophers and the Boars! (A cheer rose up from the two teams.) For a reward, you can use your hot tubs for the remainder of the summer. (Another cheer rose up.) Meanwhile, the big losers of this challenge are... (two different shots of Lori looking confident, and Benson looking determined ensue) ...the Loons! (The team in question groans loudly.) All right, Flying Loons, I'll see you tonight at the elimination ceremony. Oh, and if you think that all the challenges are going to be this easy, think again. I've got tons of surprises for you this summer. (leaves laughing maniacally while the campers look worried)

(The scene cuts to the mess hall at dinnertime. While the Boars and Gophers are talking animatedly, the Loons are slouched in their seats.)

Craig: So... if no one else is going to say it, I will. Who are we going to vote off tonight?

#5: I don't think that's something we should discuss-

#1: I think it should be one of the people who didn't jump. I mean, we should all be in agreement on that.

Benson: The bald kid is right, we have to vote off one of those four. And of the four I think you should go. (points to Roger)

Roger: What, me? C'mon, guys, I'm your strongest player; you guys need me. (However, all the Loons are glaring at Roger.) Well, wait a minute, what about her? (jerks his thumb at Leni, who is at the counter where Chef is serving)

Leni: I'm sorry, but can you give me something more... nutritious. My doctor says I need to eat more healthy food. (She receives a roar from Chef in reply.) OK, never mind, thank you! (rushes away)

Stewie: Eh, he's got a point, she's dumber than Lindsay Lohan on a bad day.

Roger: Yeah, see, if we vote her off, we get rid of the stupidest broad on this show. So, who's with me?

Benson: All right, all in favor. (nearly all the Loons say Aye!)

Leni: (walking up to her seat) Oh, are we all saying body parts. OK, let me go next. Ear!

(Meanwhile, at the Bass table, Lori is picking at her food grumpily.)

Wendy: Hey, what gives, we didn't lose.

Lori: I know, but we didn't win either. I want our team to be the best there is, so I hope I can whip this team into shape.

Chris: (walking in) Hey, Flying Loons, your elimination ceremony is in one hour. Be prepared. (chuckles evilly)

Leni: Oh, scary. I hope everyone knows how to vote... because I sure don't.

(The scene cuts to all the Loons sitting at the fire pit. Chris soon walks up, carrying a plate of marshmallows.)

Chris: All right, welcome to the first ever Total Drama elimination ceremony. You've all made your decisions, and cast your votes. If I call your name, I'll throw you a marshmallow that you can toast and eat. That means your safe. The person who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately go to the dock of shame and the boat of losers. That means you are out of the competition... permanently. The first marshmallow of the night goes to... Jack... Benson... Finn... Amethyst... Doofenshmirtz... Fry... Craig... SpongeBob... High Five Ghost... Star... Mabel...Kyle...Beast Boy... Lapis... Gene... Numbuh 5... Sylvia... Numbuh 1... Griz... the Ice King... and Robin! (looks around confused) Does anyone know where Robin is?

(The scene cuts to Robin, who is still stuck in the tree branch on the cliff.)

Robin: Hello, is anyone going to come help me?

Chris: Eh, doesn't matter. Roger, Stewie, Vanessa, and Leni; you four are the final contestants.

Lucy: You forgot about m-

Chris: Yes, the final contestants. All four of you refused to jump off the cliff, leading to your team's failure. The next marshmallow goes to... Vanessa. The penultimate one goes to... Stewie. And the final marshmallow goes to...

... Roger!

Leni: Oh, what? I'm the first one off. (sighs) Bummer.

(She gets up, and trudges to the dock. She walks across, but pauses at the boat.)

Leni: I'll miss every one of you. (She then gets on, and the boat drives away.)

Chris: All right, the rest of you are safe... for now. See you in three days for your next challenge. (leaves)

Benson: (toasting his marshmallow with his fellow teammates) I know today was a little disheartening, but don't worry. We won't back here next week. (The team agrees wholeheartedly.)

(The scene cuts back to Robin, who is still hanging with a bored expression on his face. Finally, the branch cracks, and Robin falls into the danger zone. Two sharks pop up, and growl at him.)

Robin: Um, nice sharks, heh-heh...

**XXXXX**

**Screaming Gophers: ****Steven, Connie, Greg, Soos, Lincoln, Luan, Lola, Bubblegum, Mordecai, Skips, Ferb, Baljeet, Bart, Bender, Stan Smith, Linda, Hank, Kenny, Rick, Double D, Numbuh 3, Dib, Squidward, Raven, Mr. Gus, and Ice Bear.**

**Killer Bass: ****Garnet, Peridot, Dipper, Wendy, Lori, Lynn, Lisa Loud, Marceline, Rigby, Muscle Man, Candace, Buford, Lisa Simpson, Peter, Steve, Tina, Stan Marsh, Butters, Morty, Eddy, Numbuh 4, Gaz, Courage, Cyborg, Pizza Steve, and Wander.**

**Flying Loons: ****Amethyst, Lapis, Mabel, Star, Lucy, Finn, the Ice King, Benson, High Five Ghost, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Fry, Stewie, Roger, Gene, Kyle, Craig, Jack, Numbuh 1, Numbuh 5, SpongeBob, Robin, Beast Boy, Griz, and Sylvia.**

**Ferocious Boars: ****Pearl, Bismuth, Grunkle Stan, Marco, Luna, Lana, Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, Pops, Phineas, Isabella, Homer, Leela, Brian, Bob, Louise, Cartman, Tweak, Ed, Numbuh 2, Zim, Patrick, Starfire, Uncle Grandpa, Panda, and Milo.**

**Eliminated: 1**

**Leni: 104th Place**

**Votes: Leni (25); Roger (1)**

**Current Competitors: 103**


	3. The Big Sleep

(The camera opens up on the cabins in the early morning. The camera zooms in on the Gopher cabin, where, inside, Stan Smith is dozing gently in his sleep.)

Stan: (in his sleep) Why, yes, Lady Liberty, I'd be honored to kiss your feet.

(Suddenly, the sound of a helicopter coming into hearing distance causes Stan to frown in his sleep, wake up, and fall out of bed.)

Stan: Ow. (On the top bunk, Hank also falls out of bed onto Stan.) Double ow.

(The Gophers, along with the rest of the teams, all go to the window to see what is going on. Including, rather comically, Ice Bear popping up out of a freezer on the side of the Gophers' cabin, where he has apparently been sleeping. The helicopter is hovering above the cabins, and being driven by none other than Chris McLean.)

Chris: (through a megaphone) Rise and shine, campers! It's time for your second challenge!

(Back at the Gophers' cabin, Lola appears at one of the windows.)

Lola: Do you have any idea what time is it? I need my beauty sleep!

(The camera cuts to all the campers lined up outside their cabins, looking extremely tired. Chris soon walks up, having parked the copter.)

Chris: All right, campers, who's ready for challenge number dos?

Buford: (yawns) How about I'm ready to put my fist in your face?

Chris: Oh, testy this morning, I see. Anyway, your next challenger involves a run around the island. So, line up on that starting line over there. (points to said line)

Rigby: Seriously, you're making us run this early in the morning?

Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. McLean, but I can't run. (rubs his stomach) I have this wicked stomach ache, so it looks like I'm going to have to go to bed.

Chris: Sorry, Eric, but every contestant has to compete if they want to stay in the game.

Dipper: Wait, if we win this race, does that mean we win the challenge?

(Chris shrugs, then points a gun into the air.)

Chris: Everyone get to your marks. (Everyone begins trudging grumpily to the line.) Get set. (The contestants get ready to run.) Go!

(Homer tries to go out first, but trips.)

Homer: D'oh! (proceeds to get trampled by the rest of the campers)

(The scene cuts to a little ways forward in the race. Skips, Numbuh 4, Courage, Garnet, Wendy, Lori, Lynn, Finn, Benson, Jack, #1, Robin, #5, Sylvia, Pearl, Bismuth, Leela, and Starfire are all in a pack in the lead. The camera than zooms past the contestants running behind them, to the very bottom of the race. Amethyst, Jake, Lucy, Raven, and Fry are all trudging through the race.)

Amethyst: Ugh, how much further?

Fry: We've only been walking for fifteen minutes.

(Lucy meanwhile walks up to Raven.)

Lucy: So, I hear you're an unholy demon from the pits of the underworld. Is it true?

Raven: Does this answer your question? (transforms into her demon form)

(Amethyst and Fry screams in fright, while Jake shapeshifts his hands larger, scoops the others up, and dashes away from Raven.)

Lucy: Neat.

(The scene cuts to Hank, who is leaning against a tree, breathing heavily. Bob walks up to him.)

Bob: (sticks his hand out) Hey, Bob Belcher.

Hank: (shakes the offered hand) Hank Hill.

Bob: So, I know we're all on different teams, and everything, but there's hardly any contestants my age... or species.

Hank: Well, it's great to meet a fellow functioning adult. My teammate Greg seems a little... um, out there.

Bob: Well, I own my own burger joint.

Hank: I like the sound of that. Maybe we could fire up some grills after this competition is over. By the way, I sell propane and propane accessories.

Bob: Ha-ha, and I thought my job was boring sometimes. (Hank gasps dramatically, then leaves with an angry expression.) Wha-what I say?

**Confessional (Bob): Well, there goes one of my only chances to make a friend on this island. Why am I so bad at this?**

(The scene cuts to Chris on his ATV, weaving around the contestants near the middle of the race.)

Chris: (through a megaphone) All right, campers, looking good. (sees something he doesn't like) Hey, everyone has to run. Get down off each other!

(The camera shows the three bears [Griz, Panda, and Ice Bear] all stacked on top of each other, with Ice Bear on the bottom running.)

Griz: (getting down off the bear stack) Jeez, what's his problem?

(The camera cuts back to the campgrounds. The group that was in first place reaches the finish line.)

Numbuh 4: All right, first place!

Finn: Check your eyes, bro. I was in first.

(Meanwhile, Lynn, who arrived last, begins slapping her face.)

Lynn: Dang it, Lynn, you came in last, you need to get your act together.

Jack: So, what is it we do now?

Skips: (shrugs) I guess we just wait here. (The group begins walking to the Mess Hall.)

(The camera skips over to SpongeBob and Wander, who are lightly jogging along with the rest of the contestants in the middle.)

SpongeBob: Yes, I do think being happy all the time is a great way to live life.

Wander: Me too. I just want to make the world a better place.

SpongeBob: (does his signature laugh) That sounds great!

(A hand grasps SpongeBob from behind, and pulls him back. It was Craig.)

Craig: What are you doing? That alien is on the other team. You can't hang out with him.

SpongeBob: I'll have you know that I can hang out with whoever I please. (walks away, while Craig rolls his eyes and puts his middle finger up at SpongeBob's back)

(At the back of the pack, Zim is slowly walking along. Behind him, he is pulling Gir [still in his dog disguise] on a leash. Suddenly, he glances around suspiciously, then makes off into the woods. Dib suddenly pops out from behind a tree, then hides out of sight. The scene cuts to Gaz walking while playing her portable console, with Dib appearing behind her.)

Dib: Gaz, I'm close to finding out what Zim is up to, signing up for this game. He keeps going away into the woods, so I have to find out what he's doing back there.

Gaz: Go away, Dib.

Dib: Fine, you're no help at all. (disappears again)

Gaz: Ugh, freak.

(The scene switches to all the campers who came first in the run sitting around in the mess hall. Robin is tapping his foot on the floor, looking impatient.)

Robin: Ugh, how much longer is this going to take? I want to get this challenge over with so my team won't lose again!

(As if on cue, the door opens, and Steven, Connie, Mordecai, Bender, and Marceline walks, or floats, into the building.)

Connie: Woah, that was a good work out.

Bender: (walks over to the counter, where Chef is washing a pot) Bartender, get me a beer!

(Chef rolls his eyes, and passes a beer bottle to the robot. Bender drinks heartily, then spouts fire from his mouth.)

(The camera cuts to Tina, Gene, and Louise walking together.)

**Confessional (Louise): All right, if I have to be here all summer, than I guess I should probably try to win.**

Louise: All right, I have a fool proof plan to get all three of us in the final three. You guys just have to do everything I tell you to do, undetstand?

Tina: Louise, I'm not here to win this competition. I'm here to meet cute boys.

(They pass by Morty, who is stretching after running.)

Tina: Hey, hot stuff, how's it going?

Morty: …Um, good?

Gene: Yeah, and we're all on different teams. Wouldn't it be kind of weird to be in an alliance?

Louise: That's the whole point. If you're on different teams, that way we you can bring us insight on what your team is thinking. We can then use that info to get us farther in the game.

Gene: …Sounds smart to me.

Louise: Good. (puts her hand out, followed by Gene placing his hand on top of hers) C'mon, Tina, put your hand in.

Tina: …(sighs) OK, but I don't like this. (puts her hand in with the others')

(The scene cuts to many hours in the future. The Mess Hall is now filled up with almost all the campers, looking sweaty and tired. The camera passes over Rick fiddling with a new invention, Skips exercising with a dumbbell, Soos playing on a handheld game console, Star making puppies with her wand out of boredom, and Ed reading a comic book.)

(Suddenly, the door pops open, and in crawls Cartman.)

Cartman: OMG, you guys, I'm so tired. I need water fast.

(The door opens again, and in walks Peter, Patrick, Linda, Homer [who still has footprints all over him], and Eddy. Out of all of them, Eddy looks the least tired, as he clearly has been walking the whole time.)

Linda: Great, we made it. (As soon as she says this, Patrick faints dead away.)

(Chris walks in from the kitchen area.)

Chris: Well, well, look who finally decided to- (Peter throws up all over Chris' shoes) ...show up. Now, that you're all here, it's time to start the second part of your challenge.

Ice King: But I thought all the running was the challenge.

Chris: Not so, Simon, for in fact... (He walks to a conspicuous, red curtain near the kitchens. He pulls open the curtain to reveal... a veritable smorgasbord of food.) Ta-da!

(Everyone in the room gasps.)

LSP: Oh my Glob!

(Everyone rushes to the table, trampling Chef who is at the head of the table.)

Chef: All right, now make an orderly li- Woah!

(The scene again cuts forward to the future, where the feast is now gone, and the various campers are sitting around moaning after eating so much.)

Chris: (walks in) All right, campers, whose ready to start... the Awake-a-thon.

Mr. Gus: The what-a-thon?

Chris: The Awake-a-thon, you're real challenge for today.

Numbuh 5: What more could you want from Numbuh 5?

Numbuh 2: Is it another eating thing?

Chris: No, Hoagie. This is something far worse... or not, it depends on the player. Today, you will be participating in a contest to see who can stay awake the longest. That's right, all the running and the eating was just to make it harder to stay awake.

Dr. Doof: Wow, that's really evil. (takes out notepad) I should really put that in my notes.

Candace: (walks up to Lori) So, how long do you think we'll last?

Lori: Well, hopefully we finish better than last-

(Tina proceeds to plop down on the floor, fast asleep. A nearby Louise slaps her hand to her face.)

Lori: -time.

Chris: Already one down, only 102 more to go. Campers, in order to make sure you follow the rules to a tee, I'm going to have to have you congregate at the campfire pit. Now, let's get a move on.

(The camera switches to a shot of the island in its entirety. The time changes from day to night then to early morning. The camera cuts to the campers all sitting around the campfire pit. Chris proceeds to walk up, drinking coffee.)

Chris: Well, were down one night in the Awake-a-thon, and it looks like the majority of campers are still awake. Key word on majority.

(The camera montages through shots of the sleeping campers: Soos, Lola and Lana, #3, Peter, Amethyst, Stewie, Roger, Gene, Homer, and Panda.)

**Confessional (Amethyst): Just to be clear, I didn't fall asleep because I'm weak. I was just bored.**

Chris: (looks behind him) Girls! (The Kanker Sisters walk up, carrying a large fire hose.) Let 'em have it! (While laughing, the Kanker's shoot a mist of water all over the campers.)

Squidward: (shielding his face) Hey, what's going on?

Gene: (wakes up frightened) Aagghh, it's the end times! God is flooding the Earth once more!

Chris: (signals the Kanker's to stop) That was a little pick me up for all the campers still up after the first night. More importantly though, it was a signal for all those asleep to get back to the campgrounds. Chop-chop!

(The awakened campers began to trudge in defeat back to the camp.)

Sylvia: (to Stewie) Seriously, you couldn't stay awake for a whole night?

Stewie: What do you expect? I'm just a friggin' baby.

(Eddy walks past the Kanker's, who begin to snicker.)

Lee: Look, girls, Eddy's wet his pants.

Eddy: (looks down at his soaked pants) I did not! You're the ones who shot me with the hose!

Beast Boy: I cannot believe those losers. Falling asleep after only one night? Pitiful.

Cyborg: Yeah, Beastie, you know we'll be the last ones awake. (pulls out sound speakers, and begins playing loud music, while he and Beast Boy dances)

(One jump cut later, it is again night, and the duo are now passed out, sleeping on the ground. The camera pans over the campfire pit, showing that a lot of other campers have also fallen asleep. At the group where the Screaming Gophers have set up, Greg looks like he's about to fall asleep.)

Greg: (stands up) All right, I'm out. (walks up to Chris) Is it all right if I just cut out, and go to sleep.

Chris: I don't have a problem with it. Anyone else? (A group of campers, including Mabel, Bob, Linda, and Hank, walk past Chris into the night.)

Bob: (walks up to Hank) Look, I wanted to apologize for making that joke earlier. It won't happen again.

Hank: What you need to do is learn a little bit about respect. Respect for the propane industry.

Bob: (snorts slightly in laughter, causing Hank to walk away; Linda walks up, and hugs Bob) He must really love his propane.

(The camera cuts back to the campfire pit. At the Gophers, Bart is drawing on a sleeping Baljeet's face. At the Bass, Peridot, Dipper, Wendy, Lynn, Lisa L., Steve, Morty, Numbuh 4, and Pizza Steve are all engaged in a card game.)

Lynn: (throws down her cards) Read 'em and weep losers! Triple Aces!

#4: That's the fourth time already! She's cheating!

(At the Boars, Luna was strumming on her guitar, whilst Uncle Grandpa dozed nearby. At the Loons, Robin was glaring at the other teams, before turning to his own.)

Robin: All right, team, now is a perfect time to train for our next challenge. With the other teams here to see it, they'll be super intimidated.

Star: (yawns) Do we really have to train now?

(Robin proceeds to hit her, Fry, and Benson on the head.)

Benson: Hey, watch it!

Robin: Yes, we do. Now, everyone follow my lead. (begins doing push-ups)

(The rest of the Loons begrudgingly begin to imitate him.)

Robin: Yes, pretty soon, we'll be the ones with the fancy reward!

(A jump cut later, Star, Fry, and SpongeBob are dozing heavily on the ground.)

Robin: (rubs back of head) Admittedly, this may not have been the best idea.

Chris: All right, campers, you've all managed a day of non-stop insomnia, so it's time to crank it up a notch. (claps hands, and Chef walks up in a tutu and holding a harp; Chris, meanwhile, pulls out a stack of books) It's story time! (opens the top book) Once upon a time, in a boring kingdom, in a boring village, on a boring farmland...

(All while Chris is reading, the camera zooms in on Tweak's face. Although he jerks around some, he eventually succumbs to sleep and a dream. The dream is of Craig forcing Tweak with a whip to pull a great load to a finish line, where cash is at.)

Craig: C'mon, Tweak, the grand prize is right there!

(Tweak wakes screaming, having only been asleep for a few minutes.)

Chris: Sorry, Tweak, but that's an instant loss for you. Now, for the rest of you... (He holds up a boom box, turns it on, and sultry music begins playing. Chef begins dancing through the pit, sprinkling dust in the eyes of the campers.)

Pops: Oh, dear, I think I'm about to... (falls down asleep, followed by Starfire and Dib.)

(The Kanker Sisters walk up to Chris and Chef, who are watching the campers.)

Marie: How long do you think they'll last?

Chris: (shrugs) I give it 'til this morning. Who wants to go stream Netflix in the editors' tent? (The group of staff proceeds to race off, leaving the campers to their own devices.)

Dr. Doof: (rubbing the magic dust out of his eyes) Wow, this is really hard. (looks to Vanessa, who is sitting a few feet away) Sorry, sweetie, if I don't make it through the night.

Vanessa: Whatever.

Doof: (sighs, then looks around at a 'Psst."; he sees a fedora in a nearby bush, and rushes to it) Perry the Platypus, what are you doing here? (The platypus brandishes an energy drink, causing Doof to gasp) For me? Wow, thank you for your generosity arch nemesis. (takes it, and drinks) So, when does it kick- (He proceeds to shoot up in the air from excitement.)

(The camera cuts to a shot of the nighttime sky, which changes to day, then night again, and finally day. Chris walks back into the campfire pit, and sees that Bubblegum, Mordecai [who is laying on the ground, muttering to himself], Skips, Ferb, Rick, Raven, Ice Bear, Garnet, Lynn, #4, Gaz [who is still playing her game], Lucy, Benson, Doof [who is jittering from the energy drink], Jack, #1, Robin, Pearl, Leela, and Louise.)

Chris: There are still some of you awake? Do you know how boring it is watching you fall asleep?

Garnet: You're the one who thought up this challenge.

Chris: Touche. Now, the rest of you, get to the campsite. I'll deal with those still awake.

(The camera cuts to Dipper snuggling up against somebody.)

Wendy: Um, dude?

(The camera zooms out to show Dipper is snuggling against her. They both scoot away from each other, apologizing and generally looking nervous.)

Chris: All right, since I see that a certain number campers are stubborn to the point of foolishness, I suppose it's time to bring out the big guns.

Robin: Bring it on, host man. I can tackle any dish you throw at me!

Chris: (holds up new book) The History of Canada, a long and boring compendium of useless facts.

Robin: Oh no.

(The camera jump cuts again in time, to show that most of the remaining campers have fallen asleep. The only ones left are Garnet, Skips, Gaz, and Lucy, listening to Chris drone on and on.)

Chris: Well, it seems I've managed to bore most of you to sleep. It seems we are down to the final three four.

Lucy: (snores loudly)

Chris: Make that final three.

Lisa Simpson: (walks up to Lucy) I think she was asleep the whole time.

Game Console: Battery low.

Gaz: C'mon, c'mon.

Game Console: Entering power saving mode. (turns itself off)

Gaz: (shouts to the sky) Noooo! (After a while, her shout decreases in volume, until she is snoring quietly.)

Chris: All right, Garnet and Skips, you are the final two. Whoever wins this challenge, wins for their team.

(The camera focuses on the final two staring at each other. The camera cuts forward until it's late afternoon, with Skips looking increasingly more tired.)

Skips: All right, that's it. I'm out. The Bass wi-

Chris: And the Bass wins the challenge, with the Gophers taking a modest second place.

Garnet: Thank you, Chris, now if you'll excuse me. (falls face first into the dirt, snoring loudly)

(The camera cuts to Doof getting up off the ground, and walking to the camp. He is stopped, however, by Vanessa.)

Vanessa: Wow, Dad, I didn't think you had it in you. I'm proud of you for making it to the finals. (hugs him)

Doof: (looking guilty) Um, yeah, thank you, sweetie.

**Confessional: Hmm, that was weird. I don't think I've ever felt guilty about doing something evil before.**

(The camera cuts to show the mess hall, where the campers are barely eating. Instead, they are in a state of half-asleep.)

Chris: (walks in) I've reviewed the footage from today, and it looks like the big losers for today are... the Ferocious Boars! Meet you guys at the campfire pit. (walks out, leaving the campers barely reacting to his announcement.)

(The camera cuts to the campfire pit, where a good chunk of the Boars are roasting marshmallows over the fire. The only ones without a marshmallow are Homer, Cartman, Ed, #2, Patrick, and Panda.)

Chris: The last Boars of the night! You were the first ones to fall asleep for your team. The next marshmallow goes to... Numbuh 2!

#2: Yeah!

Chris: Homer.

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Chris: And Ed.

Ed: Oh, happy day. (races over, and hugs Chris, audibly breaking some bones)

Chris: Put me down now. (Ed obliges, then races off with his marshmallow.) Cartman, Patrick, and Panda, the final three. The next marshmallow goes to... Panda.

Panda: All right!

Chris: The final marshmallow of the evening goes to...

...Cartman!

Cartman: (scoffs) Obviously.

Patrick: Um, what does that mean for me?

Chris: Um, it means you're out... for good.

Patrick: Aw, man. If I would have won, I would have bought a lifetime supply of bubblegum.

Cartman: Well, you didn't win, so don't tell us about it, fatty.

Patrick: Hey, don''t call me fatty... uh, fatty.

Cartman: I'm not fatty, I'm big-boned!

Chris: All right, campers, let's settle down. Patrick, the Dock of Shame awaits.

(Patrick hangs his head, and walks to the Dock of Shame, all the while Cartman gives an evil look.)

**Confessional (Leela): I was very close to voting off that evil, little racist off the island. But, on the whole, Patrick was just more useless. Sorry, bud.**

**XXXXX**

**Screaming Gophers: Steven, Connie, Greg, Soos, Lincoln, Luan, Lola, Bubblegum, Mordecai, Skips, Ferb, Baljeet, Bart, Bender, Stan Smith, Linda, Hank, Kenny, Rick, Double D, Numbuh 3, Dib, Squidward, Raven, Mr. Gus, and Ice Bear.**

**Killer Bass: Garnet, Peridot, Dipper, Wendy, Lori, Lynn, Lisa Loud, Marceline, Rigby, Muscle Man, Candace, Buford, Lisa Simpson, Peter, Steve, Tina, Stan Marsh, Butters, Morty, Eddy, Numbuh 4, Gaz, Courage, Cyborg, Pizza Steve, and Wander.**

**Flying Loons: Amethyst, Lapis, Mabel, Star, Lucy, Finn, the Ice King, Benson, High Five Ghost, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Fry, Stewie, Roger, Gene, Kyle, Craig, Jack, Numbuh 1, Numbuh 5, SpongeBob, Robin, Beast Boy, Griz, and Sylvia.**

**Ferocious Boars: Pearl, Bismuth, Grunkle Stan, Marco, Luna, Lana, Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, Pops, Phineas, Isabella, Homer, Leela, Brian, Bob, Louise, Cartman, Tweak, Ed, Numbuh 2, Zim, Starfire, Uncle Grandpa, Panda, and Milo.**

**Eliminated: 2**

**Leni: 104th Place**

**Patrick: 103rd Place**

**Votes: Patrick (11); Cartman (10); Panda (4)**

**Current Competitors: 102**


	4. Dodgebrawl

(The episode opens up on the Mess Hall. A quick cut inside reveals that all the campers are seated inside, eating their breakfast. All of them are in various states of tiredness.)

Wander: Oh, man, I'm so tired I couldn't even play my banjo last night.

Mabel: Well, I'm so tired I can hardly feel my face!

Homer: I'm so tired that I can't even finish my breakfast. (takes another spoonful of the slop) Almost.

(The camera cuts to SpongeBob. He is sitting at the Loons table, morosely picking at his food.)

Robin: (walking up) Aw, hey, what's wrong, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: I'm just sad that Patrick got voted off so soon. I'd hoped we could have a lot of-

Robin: No one cares! You need to leave your emotions at the front door, so you can get your head in the game. We need to win this week's challenge, or else. (All the Loons glare at Robin.)

Chris: (walks in) Hello, campers. What, you guys are still tuckered out from the last challenge?

Rick: (burps) **Bleep **you.

Chris: No, thank you Rick. I'd rather introduce your next challenge.

Bart: Hey, man, it hasn't been three days yet.

Kyle: Yeah, we still have to recover from last challenge.

Chris: Sorry... well, not really, but the last challenge took up too much time, so we have to skip the three day wait. After breakfast, head down to the arena on the beach.

Peridot: What arena?

Chris: You can't miss it.

(The camera cuts to all the campers trudging across the beach. Kyle is walking behind Cartman, who farts and laughs.)

Kyle: (covering his nose) Ugh, Cartman!

Cartman: What are you going to do about it, you shifty Jew? (walks away, leaving Kyle to glare at him)

Louise: (walks up behind Kyle) It sounds like you two really hate each other.

Kyle: (scoffs) Good **bleep**ing job, Sherlock.

Louise: Well, me and my siblings were just thinking how great it would be to form an alliance. Do you want in?

Kyle: What do I get out of it?

Louise: Well... we'll help you eliminate Cartman first chance we get.

Kyle: How? We're all on different teams.

Louise: I don't know, we'll figure something out. So, are you in? (puts out her hand, quickly followed by Kyle)

Kyle: Deal.

(The camera cuts to the arena Chris had spoken about: a basketball-like court encased in a glass room. The campers enter the court, astounded by its craftsmanship. Chris and Chef are already there, with the latter wearing a referee outfit.)

Chris: Welcome, campers, this is the sports arena! Here, we'll play various sports-themed challenges, including today's challenge...

(Chef rolls a crate full of dodgeballs in the center of the court.)

Numbuh 4: Dodgeball! Cool, I'm a wizard at this game!

Lynn: (walks up) I bet you aren't as good as me.

#4: Oh, yeah, well I don't see how a girl can possibly beat me.

Lynn: Hey!

Chris: (claps hands) All right, campers, eyes on me. Today's challenge will of course be dodgeball. The game will be best out of five. The rules are the same as any other dodgeball game: if you're hit by a ball, you're out. If you catch a ball, the thrower is out, and you can choose who can come back on the court. Only ten campers maximum can be on the court at a time. So, group up, and decide who will be on the court. Gophers vs. Bass, first.

(The camera cuts to the Gophers all huddled up next to their set of bleachers.)

Connie: Aw, I always hated dodgeball. It was my least favorite game to play in gym.

Double D: You and me both, sister.

Bubblegum: OK, guys, we lost the last the challenge, but I think we can win this if we just try. Now, I know we don't exactly have the most... er, active team members, but I feel if we work really hard, we can win this. So, who's with me? (puts her hand out)

Skips: I am. (puts hand in center)

Hank: Well, I'd rather be playing a nice game of football, but I guess I can try this dodgeball out.

Ice Bear: Ice Bear is in.

(Pretty soon, all the Gophers have their hands in the center.)

Linda: All right, let's do this thing!

(The scene pans over to the Bass at their respective bleachers.)

Lynn: All right, here's the plan. I go out and take all the balls. Then, I win this game single-handedley. Sp, who's with me?

Lori: As much as I hate to agree with her, she is our biggest asset. Believe me, I've seen her play Dodgeball. It can be brutal.

Cyborg: Hey, what about me? I play a mean game of Dodgeball, too.

Lori: All right, Lynn, Cyborg, Garnet, and me are the first ones out. That leaves 6 spots open, who else?

(Numbuh 4, Marceline, Buford, and Muscle Man raises their hands.)

Muscle Man: Aw, yeah, you're star player is right here!

Lori: We just need one more. Who's going to play?

(The camera pans over an evasive Morty and Tina, a bored looking Steve, and stops at Courage.)

Courage: Oh, the things I do for this team. (raises hand)

(The camera cuts to the Gophers vs. Bass game is about to start. The Bass players are on their side, while the Gophers are on the other side. The Gophers players are Steven, Connie, Mordecai, Skips, Ferb, Bart, Bender, Stan Smith, Linda, and Mr. Gus. At the referee chair, Chef blows his whistle, and the players race to the balls.)

(Lynn and Numbuh 4 proves to be the biggest asset to the Bass. Immediately, they dodge several balls, and knock out Bender, Stan, and Linda.)

Bender: (falls on his back, and rolls around, unable to get back up)

Stan: (hit in the face) Damn it! (throws down his ball, and heads to the bleachers)

Linda: Hey!

(Mr. Gus tries to hit Numbuh 4, only for the latter to dodge, and Garnet to be hit. She is hit in the face, though shows little to no reaction. Muscle Man, Buford, and Marceline appears, and throws their balls. Two hits Mr. Gus, while a third hits Bart in the crotch, sending him sliding across the floor.)

Bart: (high pitched voice) Well, there goes my chance at having children.

Lincoln: (from the bleachers) Oh no, we're getting creamed out there. (As soon as he says this, Skips is knocked out, leaving only Steven, Connie, Mordecai, and Ferb in the game.)

(Mordecai throws a ball, only for Cyborg to block it with his ball. Another ball sails out of nowhere, and hits Cyborg in the face. Steven pumps his fist, before ducking from a ball. Meanwhile, Ferb is dodging ever ball thrown at him, before catching one thrown by Marceline.)

Marceline: Dang. Sweet moves, though.

(At the back of the court, Steven and Connie bunch up.)

Connie: Ferb's moves are good, but I don't think they're enough to save the game.

Steven: I think we should pull out our secret weapon.

(The grasp hands , and fuse into Stevonnie. Everyone in the audience gasps. Stevonnie walks up to Ferb, who gives them his ball. Stevonnie immediately throws and hits Muscle Man, knocking him down.)

Muscle Man: Oh, no, bro.

(Stevonnie knocks out in quick succession Lori, Buford, and Numbuh 4. The remaining Bass are Courage and Lynn. Lynn pulls some sweet moves against Stevonnie's throws, but is ultimately knocked out by a surprise attack from Ferb.)

Lynn: Dang it. It's all up to you, Courage.

Courage: (whines, as the remaining Gophers advance on him; He tries to throw his only ball, only for it to bounce pathetically on the opposing floor. Stevonnie, Ferb, and Mordecai throws their balls at him.)

(Courage wakes up a few minutes later, with a black eye.)

Courage: Oh, did we win?

Buford: Um, how do I put this lightly... You lost us the game!

(Courage looks to the Gophers' bleachers, who are cheering Stevonnie.)

Luan: Wow, where did you learn to... transform like that.

Stevonnie: Oh, it's fusion. It's pretty easy once you get used to it.

Chris: All right, campers, the next match will contain the Loons and the Boars duking it out. Huddle together to decide who is going out in five minutes.

(The camera cuts to the Loons huddled up at their respective bleachers.)

Robin: All right, subservients, as your team leader, I hold the most sway in choosing who goes out and competes for us. So: me, Lapis, Star, Finn, Doofenshmirtz, Fry, Gene, Craig, Beast Boy, and Griz will play.

Sylvia: Shouldn't we discuss this as a team?

Robin: Teams are not for discussing things. They're for doing whatever the team leader says to do.

(The Loons look at each other with irritated looks on their faces. Meanwhile, at the Boars, Leela has just finished speaking to her team.)

Leela: ...and that's the plan. If we follow it, we can go to the finals against the Gophers. We just need one more player; who's in?

Milo: Can I be allowed to play? I think I'd make a good sportsman.

Leela: Hmm, that might be a bad idea. What with your... er, bad luck and all.

Milo: Well, it's not really bad luck. It's Murphy's-

Leela: Cartman, how about you?

Cartman: (sitting on the bleachers, reading a comic book) Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I've got this really bad stomach ache, so I can't play.

Leela: (scoffs) Fine, Milo, you're in.

(The camera cuts to the Loons and Boars out on the court. On the Boars' side, Leela, Milo, Bismuth, Marco, Luna, Pops, Phineas, Brian, Ed, and Uncle Grandpa are playing.)

Robin: All right, Robin, all you have to do is beat the Boars, then the Gophers, and your team will finally win the challenge. Add a winning streak onto there, and you'll be on the home stretch to that million dollars.

(Chef blows his whistle, and all the teams head to the balls in the center. Dr. Doof tries to throw a ball, only for it to hit an opposing wall and rocket back to him, right in the face. Gene ends up curling into a ball on the Loons' side.)

Gene: This is terrible! (Multiple balls repeatedly hit him dead on.)

(Griz is hit dead on by a dodgeball in the stomach, right next to Robin.)

Griz: (high-pitched) Ow.

Robin: Three players out already? Oh, man, this could be bad. (A ball hits him in the face.)

(A montage of Loons being knocked out follows. Finn, Fry, and Craig are knocked out of the game in quick succession. Leela is about to knock out Lapis, when Milo runs up.)

Milo: I got it!

Leela: Milo, no!

(Milo throws his ball, only for Lapis to grow her wings, and dodge the ball. The ball hits the opposing wall, and knocks back to the Boars' side. In rapid succession, Marco, Bismuth, and Pops are knocked out by Milo's ball.)

Pops: Oh, bad show.

(Chef blows his whistle, signaling the three campers out.)

Luna: What, they were hit be friendly fire, dude!

Chef: Don't care. (signals the campers to head to the bleachers)

(Meanwhile, Star tries to punt a ball to Uncle Grandpa's face. The magical man merely pops his head off, avoiding the ball.)

U.G.: Ha, missed!

(Phineas appears, and throws a ball at Star. Star panics, raises her wand, and destroys the ball, causing a puff of smoke. Through the smoke, a collection of balls appears from the Boars' side. They manage to knock the remainder of the Loons out of the game.)

Chris: And the Boars win the game. (Cheers raise up from the Boars.)

(The camera cuts to Robin, who is lying unconscious on the floor. A shadow moves over him, causing him to wake up.)

Robin: Did-did we win?

Benson: No, we didn't win, all because of you! All right, team, next game, we do what I say, and we just might manage to pull through!

Chris: Campers, to determine who will win the challenge for the day, the Gophers and the Boars will go together in our next round.

(The camera cuts to the Gophers and Boars on opposing sides of the arena. On the Gophers, Stevonnie, Greg, Lincoln, Luan, Bubblegum, Linda, Hank, Kenny, Rick, and Double D are on the court. On the Boars, Pearl, Grunkle Stan, Lana, Jake, Isabella, Leela, Bob, Tweak, Starfire, and Panda. Chef blows his whistle, and the campers go for the balls. Isabella, Bob, and Panda immediately throw their balls at Stevonnie, who dodges all of them. Greg, Lincoln, and Rick appears, and knocks out the three Boars.)

Panda: (curled into a ball) I don't want to play anymore.

(The camera cuts to a montage of balls thrown across the court. Greg, Hank, and Double D are knocked out on the Gophers side, while Grunkle Stan, Lana, and Tweak are knocked out for the Boars. Eventually, the remaining four Boars group up.)

Starfire: We are getting the 'creamed' out there!

Jake: I've got an idea, just follow my lead.

(Jake rolls across the floor, shapeshifts his arms into multiple arms, grabs a bunch of balls, and throws them all at Stevonnie. The latter tries to avoid all the balls, only to be hit by the last one.)

Stevonnie: Hey, he's using powers!

Chris: So, are you Stevonnie, I'll allow it.

(The camera cuts to Jake using his method to knock out the remaining Gophers, all except Kenny.)

Kenny: (drops his ball, and muffles something that sounds like, "I surrender!")

(Jake proceeds to cream him with all the balls. He is thrown into the opposing wall, coughs up blood, and falls down dead.)

Stan: Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!

Kyle: You bastards!

(The camera cuts to show Kenny being loaded up onto a stretcher by the Kanker's, while Chris talks to the campers.)

Chris: The Boars are our surprise winners of the day! (cheers rise up from the respective team) Now, to determine who will be our big losers of the day, the Bass and the Loons will go at it in a final match.

(The camera cuts to the Bass and Loons respective teams out on the court. The Bass have Garnet, Wendy, Lynn, Rigby, Candace, Lisa Simpson, Peter, Butters, Morty, and Wander; the Loons have Mabel, Finn, Ice King, HFG, Fry, Jack, #1, #2, SpongeBob, and Beast Boy.)

Benson: All right, guys, just follow the plan, and everything will turn out OK.

Lisa Simpson: Is it too late to mention that I'm not really a dodgeball person?

(Chef blows his whistle, and the Bass go for the balls.)

Benson: Now, Simon!

IK: Um, OK! (shoots beams of ice at the Bass, freezing their feet; The Bass are stuck to the floor, some of them even falling down. They try to throw their balls, only for them to be easily dodged. Only High-Five Ghost is knocked out for the Loons. The Loons pick up the thrown balls, and easily knock out most of the Bass. Garnet however breaks out of her bonds, breaking Morty and Butters out as well. Garnet then picks up a pile of balls, and throws them with pinpoint precision at the Gophers, hitting almost all of them, including Ice King. The only Loons left are Finn, Fry, and Jack.)

Chris: And the game goes into a three on three battle!

(Fry throws the next ball, hitting Butters out.)

Butters: Aw, hamburgers.

(The remaining Loons throw a multitude of balls the Bass' direction. Garnet tries to dodge, but is soon hit in the stomach.)

Morty: (runs to Garnet) Garnet!

Garnet: It's all up to you now, Morty.

(The three Loons gear up to knock Morty out, only for Morty to inexpertly dodge the balls. He picks up three, breathes in and out, then throws it. Fry is hit in the groin, while Finn is hit in the face, leaving Jack the only Loon. The camera cuts to the audience's reactions to balls being thrown from one side to the other.)

(Eventually, in slow motion, both Jack and Morty throw a ball. The two balls collide in mid-air, flying back to their respective origin. Morty manages to duck, while Jack is hit in the face.)

Chris: And the Bass wins!

(A mighty cheer rises up from the Bass, with Morty being raised up by his team. Even Jack walks up to Morty, and shakes his hand.)

Jack: Good game, young one.

Morty: You, too.

(At the Loons' side, Ice King walks up to Benson.)

IK: Uh-oh, we lost didn't we.

Benson: Yeah, but... it's OK.

(The camera cuts outside the arena, where a collection of campers are walking back to camp, including Rick. Morty walks up to Rick.)

Morty: Hey, did you see-

Rick: What, you're big dodgeball win? What do you want a **bleep**ing medal for winning a junior high game? (walks away, leaving Morty disappointed)

Marceline: (walks up behind Morty, and puts a hand on his shoulder) Wow, your grandpa is kind of a jerk, isn't he?

Morty: (sighs) Yeah.

(The camera cuts to the Mess Hall, where Robin is pacing in front of the Loons' table.)

Robin: All right, team, as your unequivocal leader, it is my solemn duty to choose who we are going to vote for tonight. And I choose... (points at Fry) you!

Fry: What, why me?

Robin: (shrugs) I don't like your face. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a late afternoon nap to get to. (walks out of the building)

Benson: So, we are all in agreement on who's going? (All the Loons say, "Yes!")

(The camera cuts to nighttime at the campfire pit. Most of the Loons are roasting their marshmallows, while Robin and Fry are the only ones without.)

Robin: Wait, what the heck am I doing in the bottom two?

Chris: Dunno, Robin. Maybe it has something to do with... well, everything about your character. Anyways, the final marshmallow goes to...

... Fry!

(Robin's mouth hits the ground, as Fry goes up to receive his marshmallow.)

Robin: What, you guys voted me off? Your leader?

Chris: (talks into a walkie-talkie) Chef, we may need some help down here.

Robin: You guys needed me! You need me! (Chris and Chef both grab Robin's arm, and begins to drag him to the dock, as Robin begins yelling to the point that you can't understand him. The reach the boat, and throw him onto it. The boat races away.)

Robin: I'll be back!

Benson: Good riddance.

**XXXXX**

**Screaming Gophers: Steven, Connie, Greg, Soos, Lincoln, Luan, Lola, Bubblegum, Mordecai, Skips, Ferb, Baljeet, Bart, Bender, Stan Smith, Linda, Hank, Kenny, Rick, Double D, Numbuh 3, Dib, Squidward, Raven, Mr. Gus, and Ice Bear.**

**Killer Bass: Garnet, Peridot, Dipper, Wendy, Lori, Lynn, Lisa Loud, Marceline, Rigby, Muscle Man, Candace, Buford, Lisa Simpson, Peter, Steve, Tina, Stan Marsh, Butters, Morty, Eddy, Numbuh 4, Gaz, Courage, Cyborg, Pizza Steve, and Wander.**

**Flying Loons: Amethyst, Lapis, Mabel, Star, Lucy, Finn, the Ice King, Benson, High Five Ghost, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Fry, Stewie, Roger, Gene, Kyle, Craig, Jack, Numbuh 1, Numbuh 5, SpongeBob, Beast Boy, Griz, and Sylvia.**

**Ferocious Boars: Pearl, Bismuth, Grunkle Stan, Marco, Luna, Lana, Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, Pops, Phineas, Isabella, Homer, Leela, Brian, Bob, Louise, Cartman, Tweak, Ed, Numbuh 2, Zim, Starfire, Uncle Grandpa, Panda, and Milo.**

**Eliminated: 3**

**Leni: 104th Place**

**Patrick: 103rd Place**

**Robin: 102nd Place**

**Votes: Robin (24); Fry (1)**

**Current Competitors: 101**


	5. Not Quite Famous

(The camera opens up on a shot of the Bass cabin, before zooming in to show what's going on inside. Stan Marsh is just waking up from slumber. He gets out of bed, puts on his hat from the nearby dresser, and notices some shouting from the other end of the room.)

Numbuh 4: You stole my wallet!

Eddy: And I'm telling you that I never even saw it!

(Butters appears to stand between the two.)

Butters: Now, c'mon, guys. We're all on the same team here. Can't we all just get along? I'm sure no one wants a fight in here.

Peter: (walking up) Speak for yourself. I'd love to see these two fight. Who wants to take bets?

Rigby: Dude, you're not exactly helping.

Pizza Steve: I'll take a bet. I think the short, bald one will win.

Eddy: Hey, I'm not-

Chris: (over the loudspeaker) All right, campers, you're next challenge begins in ten minutes. Head through the path in the woods, until you reach the brand-spanking new Amphitheater!

(The camera cuts to said Amphitheater, where all the contestants are seated in the stands and Chris is just walking on stage.)

Chris: Campers, your next challenge will be a summer camp favorite: a talent show! (most of the campers cheer)

Squidward: Excellent, something that's more favorable to my skills. (pulls out his clarinet) Time to dust off the old clarinet.

Luna: Finally, a chance to play my guitar on live television. (pulls out said electric guitar, and plays some)

Luan: And for me to tell some of my awesome jokes! (pulls out Mr. Coconuts, and tells a joke through the puppet, cuasing her family and team members to groan)

Chris: Throughout the day, each team will hold auditions for each camper. The three best will perform live tonight on stage. The judging will be done by our resident interns, the Kanker's! (The camera cuts to the Kanker's sitting behind a judge's platform.) May the best camper win the show!

(The camera cuts to outside the Gopher's cabin, where Luan is telling some jokes during her audition. After she's done, she smiles at her fellow campers. She is greeted, instead of laughter, total silence.)

Mordecai: (rubbing the back of his head) Well... that was...

Stan Smith: Horrible. Hated every second of it. (All the other Gopher's yell at Stan.)

Luan: (teary eyed) Wow, tough crowd. (runs away, causing more yelling at Stan)

Stan: What, we were all thinking it. Don't bombard me just for telling the truth.

Raven: Can we just continue the auditions!

(The camera then goes into a montage of Gopher's performing. Lola doing her ribbon dance, Ferb dancing, Bender drinking as much beer as he can, and Stan performing gun tricks.)

Double D: (covering his ears, along with the rest of the campers) Don't you have something that's a little less loud?

Stan: What!? Sorry, I left my ear plugs at home; I may be partially deaf now.

(The camera cuts back to Bender, who is still drinking. Next, Linda sings, causing most of the Gophers discomfort. Squidward plays his clarinet, much to even more discomfort.)

Hank: Squidward, that is the worst, doggone clarinet playing I have ever heard in my life.

Squidward: Well, excuse me for having class. (throws down his clarinet, and stalks off)

(The camera cuts back to Bender, who is doubled up in pain.)

Baljeet: I think you have had enough.

Bender: No, no, I can do more. (drinks a bottle, then throws up. He falls to the ground.)

(The camera cuts to Bender being hauled off by Chef to the infirmary, as violin music plays. The violin player is revealed to be Connie, who everyone applauds. The camera cuts to Ice Bear, who is hiding behind the communal bath. He jumps out, and begins using his ninja skills against various wooden dummies. Again, this receives applause. Linda, Raven, and Bubblegum huddles up.)

Bubblegum: OK, I think that makes Lola, Connie, and Ice Bear.

Linda: I don't know. I think we need a show-stopper.

Raven: A... show-stopper?

Linda: Yeah, something that will really knock the socks off those Kanker's.

(Suddenly, the sound of a guitar is heard, and the three girls look to see Greg.)

Greg: Yes, found my guitar!

(The camera cuts to Greg performing a rendition of 'Fly Like a Comet', much to the applause of the campers.)

Raven: So, I think that makes it Lola, Greg, and... (looks to Connie, Ice Bear, and Ferb; she points to IB) Ice Bear! (IB proceeds to bow to the three girls.)

Connie: (notices that Steven is missing) Hey, where's Steven?

Mordecai: I think he said something about going to Luan.

(The camera cuts to Luan sniffling on a tree stump in the woods.)

Steven: (off-screen) Hey, are you OK?

Luan: (wipes away tears) Oh, no, I'm perfectly fine.

Steven: (sits down with her) Look, I thought your jokes were kind of... good.

Luan: Really?

Steven: Yeah, I totally think you should be in the talent show tonight. (Luan proceeds to blush, and stare hard at Steven)

**Confessional (Luan): I never noticed how... attractive Steven is.**

(The camera cuts away to show Connie looking at the pair with a raised eyebrow.)

(The camera cuts to the Bass cabin, where Lori is speaking to her team.)

Lori: All right, Bass. We've won one previous game. I intend to win more than that. So, let's show them what we're made of tonight. Who's with me?

(The only sound from her team is Gaz playing her game, and Tina coughing.)

Lori: C'mon, guys, don't you want to stick it to the other teams.

Lynn: Eh, talent shows aren't really my forte.

Lori: (scoffs) All right, someone has to audition already, or else.

(The camera cuts to various Bass auditions: Lynn performs basketball tricks at the dilapidated court in the camp; Marceline strums on her guitar; Muscle Man performs some poses from his old bodybuilding career; Lisa Simpson plays her sax; Butters dances; and Wander plays his banjo.)

Lori: (looks over a clipboard) OK, I think... Marceline, Lisa, and Butters on the stage tonight. Sorry, Lynn, Muscle Man, and Wander, you didn't make the cut.

Muscle Man: Aw, weak, bro.

Lori: OK, let's practice some, and we might just pull this thing off. (The other teammates cheer.)

(Meanwhile, Candace is walking away from the team, when a fly buzzes in her ear.)

Candace: Shoo, fly!

(The fly buzzes away, across the campsite, and towards the Loons' cabin. Surprisingly, the fly transforms into Beast Boy.)

Beast Boy: The Gophers and the Bass are all done.

Benson: Well, we need to hurry, and find some good talent to beat the other teams.

Doof: I can stack cups really fast.

Lucy: I can read some of my dark poetry.

Gene: I can cheer. Granted I was kicked out of the cheer group back home, but I can still do it.

Benson: Those don't really sound like things that will really wow the Kanker's. Ice King, can you use your magic powers to beat the other teams.

Ice King: (looking lovingly across the camp) Uh, what. Sorry, wasn't paying attention. I was just watching that beautiful princess across the way. (cut to Linda walking across the campground)

Benson: (face palms) That isn't a princess, now can you beat the other teams tonight?

IK: Beat? Oh, definitely.

Benson: Good. Beast Boy, go back and spy on the other teams.

Beast Boy: (salutes) Can do, boss. (transforms back into a fly, and buzzes to the Boars' cabin)

(Marco is in the midst of performing Karate for the Boars. He manages to slice a board held up by cinder blocks in half, to moderate applause.)

Leela: C'mon, can't you do better than that. (walks up to the cinder blocks, and slices them in half with her foot; this generates more applause)

Marco: Wow, you gotta teach me your moves sometime.

Leela: Sure, sure. (holds up clipboard) So, that's me and Luna performing tonight. Who else wants to go?

Brian: OK, OK, I think I've kept you guys waiting long enough. (sits on a stool in front of the campers, and pulls out some papers) A reading of my personal poetry.

(The camera cuts forward in time to the end of Brian's poetry reading. All the other Boars are either wincing, or bored out of their skulls.)

Brian: So, what you guys think? Broadway material, right? (Leela walks over, kicks Brian away, and we hear a distant splash.)

Leela: All right, anyone else? C'mon, anyone?

(By chance, Benson passes by with Finn.)

Benson: All right, with Ice King and Lapis performing tricks, and Fry's weird future instrument, we might just have this show in the bag.

Leela: Crap, they're already done. OK, um, Zim, can you do anything?

Zim: Zim is not taking part in your silly, inane human show.

G. Stan: C'mon, green skin. If you don't do something, we will vote you out. Can't you, like, perform some tricks with your dog, Gir?

Zim: (narrows eyes) Fine, I will get Gir ready.

Leela: Oh, I hope we can pull this off.

(The camera cuts to later in the day, when the Gophers are rehearsing on stage.)

Raven: C'mon, people, we only have a few hours to get this right. Greg, perform your song again.

Greg: Can do. (begins to play)

(The camera pans over to Soos, Lincoln, and Mr. Gus pulling up a stage light.)

Gus: C'mon... c'mon... (Unfortunately, when Soos pauses to wipe his forehead, the rope slips out of the trio's hands, and falls right onto Greg. Everyone gasps in fright.)

(The camera cuts to the various Gophers looking over Greg and his smashed guitar. Greg is muttering in his unconsciousness.)

Raven: (pushes Soos) Way to go, Soos, now we have no show stopper.

Squidward: (pulls out his clarinet) Well, it looks like my chance has co-

Dib: Look, here comes Luan.

(Indeed, Steven and Luan were walking towards the stage. Raven rushes up to them.)

Raven: Luan, can you replace Greg in the big show tonight.

Luan: But I thought you didn't like my jokes.

Stan Smith: (from off screen) We don't.

Raven: Please, your our only hope.

(Luan thinks, then nods.)

(The camera cuts to nighttime, where spotlights are pointing at the sky at the amphitheater, and the audience is full. Chris walks onto stage wearing a fancy tuxedo.)

Chris: Welcome to the first annual Total Drama talent show! Tonight, the Screaming Gophers, the Killer Bass, the Flying Loons, and the Ferocious Boars will go head to head to see who will win. First up, (pulls up note card) we have Lola Loud from the Gophers!

(Lola proceeds to do her ribbon dancing expertly, then bows to the audience. Polite applause follows.)

Chris: Great job, Lola. Now, let's see what the Kanker's think of this. (The score on the top of the screen reads 6 out of 10.)

Lola: What!

Lee: (cutting to the judge's platform) Eh, seemed kind of girly to me.

Lola: You will pay for this! (tries to get at the Kanker's, only to be held back by Chris)

Chris: Next up from the Bass, we have Marceline.

(The camera cuts to Marceline performing an expert guitar solo and song, much to the applause of the crowd.)

Chris: That was rockin' girl. And the Kanker's seem to like it as well. (score reads 9 out of 10) That puts the Bass in the lead. Can the Loons fight back with the Ice King!

(The Ice King shuffles onto stage, pauses, then looks to Benson.)

Benson: You can do it, Simon, just like we talked about.

Ice King: Oh, yeah, I know. Beat them! (proceeds to draw upon his fell powers, then shoots ice out onto the audience. When the dust clears, the Gophers, Bass, and Boars audience are completely frozen.)

Benson: What are you doing?

IK: Beating them, duh.

Benson: You were supposed to perform ice tricks to wow the judges.

IK: I still don't understand.

Chris: (laughs) Oh, wow, that is wicked! Let's what the score is: (2 out of 10) Not to good. (Benson screams in frustration.) Let's take a break so we can thaw out our audience.

(The camera cuts forward in time to Leela performing, karate chopping various boards and dummies into oblivion. No cheers from the crowd, as they are being chiseled out by Chef. After Leela is done, the score is 9/10.)

Leela: Yes.

Chris: That puts the Bass and the Boars in a tie. Let's go back to the Gopher's to see if they pull through.

(A montage of people performing follows: Ice Bear fighting against hired ninjas; Lisa playing her sax while sweating; Butters dancing while a boom box plays; Lapis using twin pools to create magnificent water creations; Fry creating holograms with his futuristic musical instrument; Luna stage diving to a screaming crowd; and Zim having Gir perform tricks, mostly badly.)

(Finally, Luan is called on stage. She comes onstage, looking nervous, before Steven gives her a thumb's up from the audience. She blushes, then begins telling her jokes. At first, she receives only pity laughs, before gaining genuine laughter.)

Chris: All right, not my thing, but still good nonetheless. Let's see the score: (8 out of 10, causing cheers from the Gophers) That's good, but not enough to win. (Luan and her team gasps) Instead, if my math is correct, the Killer Bass take away the win, while the Gophers and Boars both tie for second place. Loons, I'll see you at the campfire pit... again. (laughs cruelly)

(Benson proceeds to begin tearing up the stage in fury.)

(The camera cuts to the various campers packing up the stage. Luna is carrying her guitar away, when she runs into Marceline.)

Luna: Hey, vampire chick. You're not, uh, mad that I got a higher score than you, are you?

Marceline: Nah, dud. I'm just congratulating you. (fist bumps her)

Luna: Wow, thanks. We should totally shred sometime.

Marceline: Totally.

(The camera cuts to the campfire pit, as the camera pans over the Loons who have already received a marshmallow. The final three is Ice King, Lapis, and Fry.)

Chris: Campers, these are the final marshmallows. The penultimate one goes to: Lapis! And the final marshmallow goes to...

... Fry!

Ice King: Um, what does that mean?

Benson: It means you're out, Simon.

IK: Aw, man, I didn't even get to hook up with any hot babes this summer. (He proceeds to shuffle to the Dock of Shame.)

**XXXXX**

**Screaming Gophers: Steven, Connie, Greg, Soos, Lincoln, Luan, Lola, Bubblegum, Mordecai, Skips, Ferb, Baljeet, Bart, Bender, Stan Smith, Linda, Hank, Kenny, Rick, Double D, Numbuh 3, Dib, Squidward, Raven, Mr. Gus, and Ice Bear.**

**Killer Bass: Garnet, Peridot, Dipper, Wendy, Lori, Lynn, Lisa Loud, Marceline, Rigby, Muscle Man, Candace, Buford, Lisa Simpson, Peter, Steve, Tina, Stan Marsh, Butters, Morty, Eddy, Numbuh 4, Gaz, Courage, Cyborg, Pizza Steve, and Wander.**

**Flying Loons: Amethyst, Lapis, Mabel, Star, Lucy, Finn, Benson, High Five Ghost, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Fry, Stewie, Roger, Gene, Kyle, Craig, Jack, Numbuh 1, Numbuh 5, SpongeBob, Beast Boy, Griz, and Sylvia.**

**Ferocious Boars: Pearl, Bismuth, Grunkle Stan, Marco, Luna, Lana, Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, Pops, Phineas, Isabella, Homer, Leela, Brian, Bob, Louise, Cartman, Tweak, Ed, Numbuh 2, Zim, Starfire, Uncle Grandpa, Panda, and Milo.**

**Eliminated: 4**

**Leni: 104th Place**

**Patrick: 103rd Place**

**Robin: 102nd Place**

**Ice King: 101st Place**

**Votes: Ice King (23); Fry (1)**

**Current Competitors: 100**


	6. The Sucky Outdoors

(The camera opens up on a shot of the campfire pit, where all the campers are currently seated or standing. Chris is in front of them, speaking about the next challenge.)

Chris: You're next challenge will test your myriad of survival skills... or lack thereof. You will be spending a night camping in the woods.

Bart: Seriously, camping? That's the best you can come up with?

Chris: Shut it. It's hard to come up with so many challenges. Basically, each team will spend a night out under the stars: eating and sleeping by themselves. The winner and losers of the challenge will be determined on who makes it back to camp first tomorrow. Oh, and beware, there are reports of both bears and the mysterious Sasquatchanawka in the woods tonight. Ha-ha. (Lisa Loud rolls her eyes.)

**Confessional (Lisa Loud): Oh, please. If he intends to scare us with a story of the fictional Sasquatch, then he's got another thing coming.**

Chris: You will each use these maps and compasses to find your campsites, where all the necessary equipment is stored.

(He throws said maps and compasses at each team, caught by Squidward, Peridot, Griz, and Isabella respectively.)

Chris: OK, good luck to you, guys. You're going to need it. (walks off)

(The camera cuts to the Gophers walking through the woods. Squidward is in the lead with the map and compass... only for it to be grabbed by Raven. She then takes the lead, while Squidward glares at her. The camera pans over to Lola and Baljeet walking together.)

Lola: Ugh. I can't believe we have to camp in the grody woods all night long. My pretty, pink dress will get all smudged.

Baljeet: Indeed, whenever we went camping with my friends back home, that was always my least favorite adventures.

Mordecai: C'mon, guys, at least he's not doing stuff like... I don't know, locking us in a sinking submarine.

**Confessional (Chris): Hmm, that gives me an idea for a future challenge.**

(The camera pans over to Skips and Hank walking together.)

Skips: So, how easy do you think this challenge will be.

Hank: Easy as pie. I used to go hunting a lot, so this will be my chance to shine.

(The camera pans finally to Lincoln, who stops to check out some berries in a nearby bush. He hears growling, and looks over to see bushes rustling. He zooms back to the other campers, and hides behind Soos.)

Lincoln: Do-do you think he was telling the tr-truth when he told us about the b-bears?

Soos: Don't sweat it, homedog. He was probably telling us that to psych us out. (Lincoln doesn't look reassured.)

(As the team leaves this area of the woods, the bushes continue to rustle, and a dark shape moves out of them.)

(The camera cuts to the Bass, coming across a stream on their path. All the Bass manages to hop over the creek, except for Pizza Steve, who is so busy looking into a mirror, he walks right into the water. The camera, meanwhile, pans to Peridot in the lead.)

Peridot: According to my calculations, we should be nearing the campsite soon.

Marco: Are you sure you know how to read that right? I don't want to walk into, like, a wolverine den.

Peridot: Relax, I can read Earth maps well enough. Oh, this'll be just like the camping episode in Cam Pining Hearts.

(The camera pans over to Numbuh 4 and Lynn.)

#4: Crud, I thought this competition would be about doing extreme challenges. Not bloody camping.

Lynn: I know. Hopefully, we'll meet some bears, and that could liven up the challenge.

Courage: Oh, don't say things like that.

#4: (smirks at Lynn) Oh, what, are you scared of the bears. Do you think one's going to pop out, and scare you like-

Lynn: (pops up behind the cowardly dog) This?!

(Courage proceeds to scream bloody murder, and zoom off into the distance. Lynn and #4 laughs, until a dark shadow passes over them.)

Lori: Great, are you two happy? We just lost Courage!

Lynn: Oh, c'mon, Lori. We were just having fun!

(The duo walks off laughing, as Lori narrows her eyes at them.)

**Confessional (Lori): Those two's version of fun is a disaster waiting to happen. I'll have to keep an eye on them.**

(Meanwhile, Tina is resting her feet, until Steve and Morty walks up to her.)

Steve: And so then, I played my last Pokemon card to win the match.

Morty: (clearly disinterested) Um, yeah, that's so... cool.

Tina: Hey, boys. (flips her hair around) Who wants to walk me to the campsite?

(Steve and Morty looks at one another.)

Steve: Sure, you can walk with us.

Tina: Super. (She walks with the duo, keeping a careful eye on Steve's butt.)

**Confessional (Tina): Out of all the boys on my team, I hope me and Steve get together.**

(The camera cuts to a deer prancing through the forest. It hears a twig snap, then rushes away. The camera cuts to Gene and Griz, who had apparently been sneaking up on the deer.)

Gene: Darn it. I was hoping to catch some fresh deer meat. You know, for the camping.

Griz: Eh. I much prefer some chips and dip.

Benson: (offscreen) C'mon, Gene and Griz. Keep with the group. (The duo races back to the group, where Benson is leading.) We're already down three players. I don't want to lose again, just because some campers got lost.

(The camera pans over to Kyle, who is walking behind Samurai Jack.)

Kyle: So, we don't really get to talk much. Are you really a samurai or not?

Jack: Correct, Kyle. I was a samurai both in this time, the past, and the future.

Kyle: The past and the future?

Jack: Yes, the evil of Aku sent me to the future, then back to the past. Going through the time portals have left unable to die naturally.

Kyle: (backing away) Um, OK?

(The camera pans over to Vanessa, High-Five Ghost, Stewie, and Sylvia walking together. Humorously, Stewie was riding Sylvia much like Wander does.)

Doof: (off screen) Hey, Vanessa, I found this cute little squirrel. Come, and look.

Stewie: (scoffs) I can't believe that's your Dad.

Vanessa: Tell me about it.

HFG: You're so cool, and he... well, who constantly spouts that their evil incarnate.

Vanessa: It's just to get attention. He did have a rough childhood. He's not so bad once you get to know him.

Sylvia: Ugh, any person who brags about evil is looking for a kick in the face.

Vanessa: Eh, I can at least agree with that.

(The camera cuts to the Boars, who like the other teams are currently trekking through the woods. Isabella is currently in the lead with the map.)

Numbuh 2: (looking nervously around at the woods) You sure you know where we are going?

Isabella: Of course, I was a Fireside Girl five years running.

(The camera pans to Panda, Uncle Grandpa, and Tweak walking together. Suddenly, a rustling sound can be heard from the nearby bushes.)

Tweak: Oh my God, it's one of the b-bears Chris was t-telling us about!

UG: We're all going to be eaten alive!

(The threesome huddle together, scared out of their minds. The bushes continue to rustle... until a bunny hops out.)

Lana: Aw, don't be scared. It's just a little rabbit. (pulls out a carrot from under her hat) Come here, little guy. (The rabbit hops nearer, and nibbles on the food. Lana proceeds to pick him up.) Aw, I think I'm keeping him for a pet.

Cartman: (walking up with Ed) Ha-ha-ha, way to be scared by a **bleep**ing rabbit!

Ed: Ha-ha, yeah! They acted like it was the Gazorpian aliens from Planet 6.

Cartman: Um, yeah, OK?

Panda: Hey, I was not scared, little man.

(As the two argue, the camera pans over to LSP.)

LSP: (talking in her phone) Yeah, Melissa, I'm still stuck on this awful island, with my horrible teammates. (She gives an awful look to Cartman and Panda, as the camera pans over to Bob, Bismuth, and Starfire, who give an annoyed look at LSP.)

(The camera cuts to the Gophers campsite. The foliage near the campsite begins to rustle, and Dib pokes out his head.)

Dib: Hey, guys, I think I've found the campsite.

(The rest of the team comes out of the forest, and begins looking around the campsite.)

Numbuh 3: Um, guys, there's only three tents here.

Kenny: (muffles 'And there's no food here, either.')

Mr. Gus: This is supposed to be a camping episode. Maybe we have to hunt and cook our food.

Lola: Um, I do not 'hunt' or (shudders) 'clean' my food.

Hank: Don't worry. Us men will go out and get you some food. (puts a hand on Skips' shoulder) You with me, Mr. Skips?

Skips: Sure.

(Hank, Skips, Stan Smith, and Ice Bear begins to walk out into the forest. Greg tries to catch up to him.)

Greg: Uh, guys, can I come too?

Stan: Um, actually, we're pretty-

Ice Bear: Ice Bear doesn't think-

Skips: Sure, the more the merrier. (The group walks off into the woods, with Stan glaring at Greg.)

(The camera cuts to the Bass campsite, where most of the Bass are seated.)

Lisa S.: Oh, I'm so hungry. How long ago did Garnet and Peridot go out for food?

Wendy: They've only been gone for five minutes... though it feels like hours.

(Rustling in the forest is heard, and Garnet and Peridot walk into the clearing. Peridot throws some bark, leaves, and dirt into the middle of the campsite.)

Peridot: Well, here's food for you humans.

Peter: Finally, I'm starving! (picks up a piece of bark) What-what the hell is this?

Dipper: This is just dirt and plants, not food!

Peridot: Well, excuse me! I'm not entirely sure what you humans eat!

Garnet: (holds up a pile of berries) I brought real food!

Cyborg: That's it! That's all we've got to eat tonight! Aw, where's a barbecue when you need one!

Wander: C'mon, guys, it could be worse.

(A high-pitched scream is heard from somewhere in the woods.)

Candace: OMG, it's the Sasquatch! Come to eat us all!

(The campers begin either screaming, running around, or both. The exception is Lisa Loud.)

Lisa: Oh, a real, live Bigfoot. This will be amazing for my studies! (scurries off into the woods)

Lori: Quick, into the tents. We'll hide in there! (The Bass zoom into the tents, as another scream is heard.)

(The camera cuts to deeper in the woods, where the Gophers' hunting team are standing. Hank is holding several dead rabbits, while Greg has is foot caught in a small bear trap. Skips is releasing the trap from Greg's foot.)

Stan: Told you we should've left the aging rock star behind.

(The camera cuts to the Loons' campsite, where the campers are currently eating around the campfire.)

High-Five Ghost: Wow, thanks for getting us this fish, Finn.

Finn: Thanks. Jake taught me down at the creek near our tree fort.

(After eating, the campers end up sitting around looking at each other.)

Stewie: So, uh, what now?

Jack: I guess we just talk to each other until we need to go to sleep.

(The awkward staring continues.)

**Confessional (Roger): I'm not here to make friends. I keep everyone here at arms length.**

_Flashback (Back at the campgrounds)_

_Star: Hey, Roger! How's it going?_

_Roger: (flips her the bird) Shut up, you dumb blonde._

**(Roger): Yep, arms length, all the way.**

(Back in the forest)

Beast Boy: Hey, this dark and scary night reminds me of a dark and scary story.

Mabel: Oh, scary stories, I love those.

Beast Boy: OK, here it goes...

(The camera cuts forward in time to the end of BB's story.)

Beast Boy: ...and when the lumberjack went to open the little door, all he found was... (The camera cuts to each of the Loons' expressions) ... a chimpanzee picking his nose.

(All the other Loons groan loudly... except for Gene, who laughs wildly.)

Lucy: I was hoping for an actual scary ending.

Benson: (gets up, and stretches) Well, I think it's time to go to bed. We want to get up early, so we can beat the other campers.

(The Loons proceed to head to either of the three tents. The camera pans up to the moon, and shows the passage of time into the dead of night. The camera pans down to the Boars' campsite. The camera pans over to the three tents set up, zooming in on the last one. Inside, Pearl, Grunkle Stan, Luna, Phineas, Isabella, Homer, Bob, Louise, Tweak, and Zim are laying down. All but Stan are wide awake, who is snoring loudly.)

Louise: I can't take this anymore, Dad.

Bob: Just sleep and bear it, Louise, just sleep and bear it.

(Suddenly, a dark shape appears over the tent.)

Isabella: Um, what's that?

(The dark shape passes by the entrance, revealing it to be a wolf.)

Phineas: Oh, no, it's a wolf. (Puts his hand on Isabella's hand, who blushes)

Pearl: Everyone, stay down. (materializes her spear, and heads out of the tent)

(The wolf spies Pearl, and growls menacingly. Unfortunately for it, Bismuth and Leela comes out of their respective tents. Together, the trio scares off the wolf.)

Bismuth: Ha, we did it!

(The other Boars come out and cheer... that is, until menacing eyes pop up around the campsite.)

Starfire: Oh, the dear.

(The camera cuts to the Boars all up in a tree, as wolves prowl around the campsite. The camera again pans to the sky, as the time changes to early morning. All the Boars look extremely tired in the tree.)

Panda: I think... the wolves are... gone.

(Homer proceeds to fall asleep, and fall out of the tree.)

(The camera cuts to the Boars racing through the woods.)

Leela: C'mon, we have to make it there before the other teams.

(The camera cuts to Chris picking at the campfire pit, when the Boars arrive.)

Homer: Woo-hoo! We made it first! (The other Boars cheers.)

Chris: Sorry to break up this little jubilation, but you guys are not the first ones here. The Loons arrived fifteen minutes earlier.

LSP: What!? Well, where are they?

Chris: Uh, they're having a normal sleep in their own beds. They also won this challenge's reward of the day: an all expense paid trip to the tuck shop.

LSP: What!? The what-shop!?

Chris: Hold that thought, LSP. I think I see the other teams approaching.

(Indeed, the Gophers and the Bass are running through the campgrounds, with Greg trailing behind with a stitched up leg. They arrive at the same time, with Greg arriving five minutes later.)

Chris: Well, since Greg made it hear last, it seems the Gophers lose by a tail. (The Gophers all moan.)

Stan Smith: (to Greg) You! You made us lose!

Greg: Hey, I couldn't help stepping in a bear trap.

Chris: Hold on (counts to himself), there seems to be a Bass missing.

Lisa L.: (arriving in the campsite) Well, I found no Sasquatch, but I did find blood pertaining to one Greg Universe.

Greg: How do you know my blood type?

Lisa: (pauses) No reason.

Chris: Well, it looks like the Bass hit their first big loss today. See you at the campfire pit.

(Cuts to that night at said pit; almost all the Bass are toasting their marshmallows, except for Lisa Loud and Peridot.)

Chris: And the final marshmallow of the evening goes to...

... Peridot!

Peridot: Yes!

Chris: (walks up to a still sitting Lisa) Wow, Lisa, must be heart breaking to be cast off this early.

**Confessional (Lisa): Meh. Did I expect to make it longer, yes. Am I glad to be gone, very much so. If I had to stick around the likes of Peter anymore, I could seriously damage my brain cells.**

**XXXXX**

**Screaming Gophers: Steven, Connie, Greg, Soos, Lincoln, Luan, Lola, Bubblegum, Mordecai, Skips, Ferb, Baljeet, Bart, Bender, Stan Smith, Linda, Hank, Kenny, Rick, Double D, Numbuh 3, Dib, Squidward, Raven, Mr. Gus, and Ice Bear.**

**Killer Bass: Garnet, Peridot, Dipper, Wendy, Lori, Lynn, Marceline, Rigby, Muscle Man, Candace, Buford, Lisa Simpson, Peter, Steve, Tina, Stan Marsh, Butters, Morty, Eddy, Numbuh 4, Gaz, Courage, Cyborg, Pizza Steve, and Wander.**

**Flying Loons: Amethyst, Lapis, Mabel, Star, Lucy, Finn, Benson, High Five Ghost, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Fry, Stewie, Roger, Gene, Kyle, Craig, Jack, Numbuh 1, Numbuh 5, SpongeBob, Beast Boy, Griz, and Sylvia.**

**Ferocious Boars: Pearl, Bismuth, Grunkle Stan, Marco, Luna, Lana, Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, Pops, Phineas, Isabella, Homer, Leela, Brian, Bob, Louise, Cartman, Tweak, Ed, Numbuh 2, Zim, Starfire, Uncle Grandpa, Panda, and Milo.**

**Eliminated: 5**

**Leni: 104th Place**

**Patrick: 103rd Place**

**Robin: 102nd Place**

**Ice King: 101st Place**

**Lisa Loud: 100th Place**

**Votes: Lisa (25); Peridot (1)**

**Current Competitors: 99**


	7. Phobia Factor

(The camera opens up on the Loons cabin. All the team members are outside the cabin, enjoying their leftover snacks from the tuck shop.)

Vanessa: (snacking on chips) Oh, man, I really needed this.

Lapis: You know, for human food, this is really good.

Mabel: (holds up chip bag) To the Flying Loons, and to never losing again. (All the other team members hold up their food in solidarity.)

(The camera pans over to the Screaming Gophers, looking jealous at the festivities.)

**Confessional (Mordecai): Pssh, a couple of weeks without a reward, and suddenly the Loons are the ones to win it? I would kill for some chocolate cake from the tuck shop.**

Chris: (on the loudspeakers) Campers, get your butts to the mess hall pronto for breakfast. There, I'll tell you today's challenge.

(The Gophers begin to make their way to the mess hall, though Greg is still struggling with his damaged foot.)

Steven: Are you going to be OK during this challenge, Dad?

Greg: Oh, no sweat. I'll be totally fine. (Once Steven leaves, Greg frowns.)

**Confessional (Greg): Well, there goes my chance of getting far in this game. I'll probably be the next one out once a physical challenge comes along.**

(The camera cuts to inside the mess hall, where all the campers are seated, watching Chris.)

Chris: Today's challenge is a little gem I like to call… Phobia Factor!

Rick: (scoffs) Phobia Factor?

SpongeBob: Um, Mr. McLean, do you mean 'Fear Factor'.

Chris: No, I mean Phobia Factor! We had to change it to avoid a lawsuit. Today, each camper will be performing a tailor-made challenge that is either gross, scary, disturbing, or all of the above. If you complete it, you receive a point for your team. The team with the least amount of points will have to send someone home, yada yada. (holds up list) First for the Gophers, Greg!

Greg: Oh, jeez.

(The camera cuts to outside, where a glass coffin is set up.)

Chris: Your task is to stay in this glass coffin…

Connie: Doesn't sound so bad, Mr. Universe.

(The Kanker's arrive carrying a leather sack. May puts her hand in, and brings it out to reveal spiders.)

Chris: …while being buried with tarantulas.

(Greg gulps, then hops into the coffin. The Kanker's proceed to scoop in tarantulas until he's completely encased.)

Chris: To complete the challenge, one has to stay in the coffin for ten-

(Greg proceeds to jump out of the coffin, brushing tarantulas off of himself.)

Chris: And no point for the Gophers.

Stan Smith: (leans over to Hank) Weakest link. (Greg sighs)

(The camera cuts to a cannon set up near the beach.)

Chris: For the Bass campers, one of you has to be shot out of this cannon into the horizon.

Lynn: Woo-hoo! Yeah, let's do this! (She walks up to the cannon, only to be stopped by Chris.)

Chris: Sorry, Lynn, but this challenge is for another. Lisa Simpson, step up to the plate.

Lisa: Oh, dear.

(The camera cuts to Lisa in the cannon's mouth, sweating nervously.)

Chris: And a one, and a two… (holds up a remote)

Lisa: Wait! I can't do it!

Chris: (as the Bass groans) Well, no point for the Bass. Let's see how the Loons are doing.

(The camera cuts to Numbuh 1, who is staring nervously at something offscreen.)

Chris: All right, Mr. Uno. Your challenge is to stay on this (the camera pans out to show a mechanical bull) for ten seconds. Be warned, this bull is so dangerous, that it's been discontinued since 1984. (The bull shoots fire out of its nostrils.)

(Numbuh 1 gulps, then steps on the bull. Chris starts a stopwatch, as the bull begins violently shaking. Numbuh 1 tries to hold on, but is bucked off at the halfway mark.)

Chris: Oooh, so close.

(The camera cuts to Grunkle Stan, who is blatantly trying to look tough for the cameras.)

Chris: For the Boars, Stan Pines will have to head into this feral dog pen. (The camera pans out to show said dog pen. The feral dogs are all sleeping soundly.) All you have to do is get the dog toy in the center of the pen, then you're done.

Stan: Does-doesn't sound too hard.

Chris: Oh, and you'll have to wear this. (puts a rope of meat around Stan's waist)

(Stan proceeds to walk into the pen. We don't see what happens, just hear dog's barking and Stan screaming, causing the Boars to cringe.)

Chris: (holds up clipboard) So, four challenges down, and no points for either teams.

(The camera cuts to all the campers around Fry, who is covered in hornets. The camera focuses on Louise, who is sneaking away from the crowd. She heads into the woods, where Tina, Gene, and Kyle.)

Louise: OK, we're all in an alliance know. Now, we won't do much until the merge happens, but our main focus for now is to eliminate Cartman.

Kyle: Yeah, and if you don't, I'm out of the alliance.

Gene: Don't worry. I think we can handle that guy.

Louise: All right, first chance we get, we eliminate Cartman.

(The group leaves the forest, only for a dark shape to peek out from behind a tree.)

**Confessional (Cartman): Those **_**bleep**_**ers think they can eliminate me so early. Well, they've got another thing coming. I've already got an alliance going.**

**(Ed): Yeah, little Cartman says me and him are in an alliance now. He reminds me so much of my buddy Eddy. And that's usually not a good thing.**

(The camera cuts to a montage of campers performing the scary challenges: Baljeet is given a plate of hot peppers; he tries one, and fire erupts in his mouth. The Ed's are locked in a room with the Kanker's; they back up into a wall and scream. Lincoln is wearing a white suit… that Marie sets on fire; close-up on Lincoln's scared expression. Rigby is locked in a room where Adam Sandler's Jack and Jill is playing twenty-four seven; he yells to the sky, "Nooo!" Star is forced into a skunk den; the camera shows the stink clouds wafting out of the den. Roger has a giant anaconda snake around his body, then squeeze. High-Five Ghost juggles chainsaws. Numbuh 2 is holding on for dear life on a tightrope. Amusingly, Pearl is simply given a bowl of cheerios to eat; she looks in disgust at it.)

(The camera finally cuts to sundown. All the campers are situated at the amphitheater, while Chris is looking at his clipboard on stage.)

Chris: All right, add 2… carry the one… subtract those points… After careful calculations of today's challenges, I can safely say that the big winners are… the Killer Bass! (cheers from the Bass are heard) And the big losers for today are… the Ferocious Boars! (said team looks awkwardly at each other) It's almost time for the campfire ceremony, so… hurry up with the voting.

(The camera cuts to said ceremony, where most of the Boars have received their marshmallows. The only campers without are Lumpy Space Princess, Tweak, and Panda.)

Chris: You three failed to complete your challenges for the day, and quite frankly you are the most useless of your team. (The trio yells, "Hey!") Just stating the facts. Anyways, the penultimate marshmallow goes to… Tweak. And the final marshmallow goes to…

… LSP!

LSP: Oh, no way.

Panda: What, but I thought everyone liked me.

Bob: Eh.

(Panda lowers his head, and makes his way to the dock of shame.)

**XXXXX**

**Screaming Gophers: Steven, Connie, Greg, Soos, Lincoln, Luan, Lola, Bubblegum, Mordecai, Skips, Ferb, Baljeet, Bart, Bender, Stan Smith, Linda, Hank, Kenny, Rick, Double D, Numbuh 3, Dib, Squidward, Raven, Mr. Gus, and Ice Bear.**

**Killer Bass: Garnet, Peridot, Dipper, Wendy, Lori, Lynn, Marceline, Rigby, Muscle Man, Candace, Buford, Lisa Simpson, Peter, Steve, Tina, Stan Marsh, Butters, Morty, Eddy, Numbuh 4, Gaz, Courage, Cyborg, Pizza Steve, and Wander.**

**Flying Loons: Amethyst, Lapis, Mabel, Star, Lucy, Finn, Benson, High Five Ghost, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Fry, Stewie, Roger, Gene, Kyle, Craig, Jack, Numbuh 1, Numbuh 5, SpongeBob, Beast Boy, Griz, and Sylvia.**

**Ferocious Boars: Pearl, Bismuth, Grunkle Stan, Marco, Luna, Lana, Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, Pops, Phineas, Isabella, Homer, Leela, Brian, Bob, Louise, Cartman, Tweak, Ed, Numbuh 2, Zim, Starfire, Uncle Grandpa, and Milo.**

**Eliminated: 6**

**Leni: 104th Place**

**Patrick: 103rd Place**

**Robin: 102nd Place**

**Ice King: 101st Place**

**Lisa Loud: 100th Place**

**Panda: 99****th**** Place**

**Votes: Panda (20); LSP (3); Tweak (1)**

**Current Competitors: 98**


	8. Chapter 8

**Important Notice**

**I am currently reevaluating my online presence on this site and others like it, such as YouTube, Deviantart, , etc. I just feel like I've become too jumbled with multiple Google accounts and the like. Henceforth, I will be moving most of my stories to a new account on this site. **

**I say most of them because some of them have, to put it one way, not made the cut. I've just simply lost interest in doing a good portion of fics, so don't be too displeased if I chose not to continue them.**

**Thank you for listening, and goodbye for now.**


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